The Girl Next Dore Blog

This year I’ve learned, and subsequently blogged, about many things. Along my journey, I’ve walked countless laps around Vanderbilt’s campus in my Stan Smith shoes, reminding myself with each step that no matter how dull the soles of my shoes get, the things I’ve experienced in them won’t fade. I’ve begun to see that life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans, and that detours are sometimes the perfect escape — and that these realizations don’t require me to stop the planning I am so accustomed to, but rather to accept the ways that life presents itself to me.

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Along the way, I’ve written some journal entries, tried to get my paragraph right and begun to prioritize taking the next right step. I’ve watched some football games and some episodes of Friends, and sung along to “Take Me Home, Country Roads.”

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I’ve read some phenomenal books and lamented over my Art History grade through GIFs. I’ve fallen into the midterm slump, hit submit, and tried to pull myself out of the non-Christmas daze of Nashville. I’ve recognized the kindness in humanity, had crazy nights watching Netflix and drinking Brita on the rocks, and even gone line dancing. 

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In time, I’ve started to consistently challenge myself to evaluate my perspective and to potentially make some changes if that perspective is not conducive to my growth. And, in turn, I’ve challenged you to do the same. Throughout some of my posts I hope that you’ve been able to see the ways in which I’ve begun to acknowledge that vulnerability is a strength, not a weakness, and that it is okay to tell each other our stories.

Whether you’ve only seen the cover photo of my posts, or whether you read every single one, or maybe read just one along the way, I hope that in some way you may have benefited from my journey, and, if nothing else, that you’ve maybe paused to consider your own. 

Probably without knowing it, you’ve given me a platform to say things that usually I would only think in my head. The ability to say something out loud, to write it down and actually reach an audience, has given me more joy and experience than I could’ve ever asked for this year. Thank you for that and for so much more. 

I hope you will continue to come on this journey with me! If you would like to do so, you can follow me at my website www.thegirlnextdore.com.

Thank you for an incredible year, MyCommonsLife.

As always …

Anchor Down,

Brooke

In my last post, Life Happens, I tried to emphasize that recently there have been some big changes in my life and I’ve been incredibly happy!

This is amazing, and I am so grateful to have made such wonderful friends who contribute to my happiness and support me in cultivating a healthy and positive life. But, something I noticed this week is that I also need to remember it is more than okay to have “bad days.”

On Sunday I was feeling really lousy. I’m not exactly sure why — probably either because it was rainy, or because I was exhausted from a 4-show weekend, or I was thinking about Freshman year ending in two weeks, or because I realized I had 100 pages of reading to do. In reality, it was probably a combination of all of these things, but nevertheless, all I wanted to do was be alone and be kinda sad in my bed while watching Brooklyn 99.

But, as I got under three fluffy blankets, I somehow felt like it was a little “wrong” for me to be feeling like I was having a “bad” day. After all, recently I’ve been so happy! So energetic! It’s finally Spring, and things have been great!

I guess in chaos of the past few weeks, and upon the realization that I’ve been incredibly happy, I somehow developed this misperception that being happy meant I couldn’t occasionally have an “off” day, or else I would be “regressing” on this happiness. As I laid in bed watching Hulu, I honestly just made myself feel worse by thinking about my night alone as a step backward.

Yesterday someone told me to emphasize the importance of taking “the next right step,” and this is when I realized what a poorly constructed view I was placing on my “bad day.” Taking the “next right step” means that you are first letting go of the need to overanalyze the broader view of the path you are pursuing. Rather than stressing over an end-goal, you are seizing the course of action that makes the most sense in the immediate future. As I’ve said before, I am a planner. So I’m sure that forcing myself to focus on the immediate will be difficult sometimes, but the idea of the “night right step” sounds like something I can handle.

Taking the “next right step” may mean that sometimes I will need to force myself not to sit in bed on a “bad day” but go for a run instead. Taking “the next right step” may mean that I edit my resume, or apply for another internship, or finish my paper early to get feedback. Or, taking the “next right step” may mean acknowledging the needs of my body and mind — treating myself to the cup of ice cream, a FaceTime call with a friend, or the night in bed with Brooklyn 99.

I’m not sure what taking the next right step will look like for myself or for any of you in the future … but I think that’s the point … and honestly, that’s pretty exciting.

Tonight, for me, taking my next right step is me writing this post. This is my next right step in allowing myself to let go of the meticulous planning and agonizing I’ve been so accustomed to.

What’s your next right step?

Anchor down,
Brooke

I am not a spontaneous person. This I know to be true about myself. I don’t know if I’ve ever said “let’s drop everything and go do something random.” I would never just decide one day that I wanted to skydive, or randomly make big decisions. I’ve even recently said that “I’m not a cross-the-street-without-a-light type of gal.” To put it in the simplest way possible, I am a planner.

Although I would consider being a planner a defining characteristic of who I am, there are some things I can’t plan for … and I’m realizing that is such a blessing sometimes.

Last Wednesday night, I got a text from one of my friends asking if I wanted to see a Ben Rector concert in Chattanooga the next night. Without hesitating, I replied “YES, I WOULD CRY.”

This honestly might have been the most spontaneous thing I’ve ever done. Less than 24 hours later, I was in a Jeep riding to Chattanooga on a Thursday night to see one of my favorite artists. Receiving that text, my mind didn’t hesitate for a second; my response was a visceral reaction. I needed to go, and I trusted myself – something I don’t think I do enough of sometimes.

Last week I wrote about life happening while you’re busy making other plans … well, Thursday was a perfect example of that. I dropped everything I had going on that night because I knew my heart needed a break. I knew I could benefit from a quick escape more than I could benefit from a few extra hours of sleep.

The concert was probably one of the best nights of my life, and I think that was, in part, because it was a detour from my normal self. Not just a detour from my typical Thursday night routine, but from my need for a plan.

Standing in the middle of the crowd last Thursday, I didn’t care who was watching me, or what I had to do when I got back to campus. My mind was clear and my heart was happy. I knew I was exactly where I needed to be. (Ben Rector showing up right behind me in the audience was just an added reassurance of that …)

I will almost definitely return to my typical procedural nature, but I now recognize the good that a little dose of spontaneity can do every once in a while.

So, take a detour sometimes … to Chattanooga, maybe … but take a detour from the characteristics of yourself that sometimes overwhelm you. It’s worth it.

Anchor down,

Brooke

Five weeks from tomorrow, I will (attempt to) pack all of my dorm into a few small boxes and suitcases, get on a plane, and fly home for the summer.

I realized when we got back from Spring Break that we had almost no time left in our Freshman year. Somehow, move-in day feels simultaneously like nine months ago and just yesterday, but the reality is that our Freshman year is coming to a close.

My final post on MyCommonsLife will wrap up my year, thank some people, etc – but not yet. Today I just want to say that in all this time that I was busy worrying about school, or being critical of the things I didn’t like about Vandy, etc, I guess that I hadn’t realized how much I’ve come to love it here.

One of my all-time favorite movies is the cheerleading movie, Fired Up!, with Eric Christian Olsen. This movie is actually trash but it’s also so funny and for some reason middle school me watched it constantly. At the end of the movie, the head cheerleader says, “Life’s what happens when you’re busy making other plans.” I have no idea who said this quote in real life (Google says John Lennon or Allen Saunders, but who really knows), but no matter who actually spoke these words, they’ve stuck with me for a long time. Until now, though, I don’t think I realized how accurate they were.

I spent most of first term being worried about my future and how I could achieve my goals, etc etc. I missed my high school and honestly I couldn’t seem to find a purpose for being here. I went home on Christmas break and my former music teacher said, “do what it takes to check off your Nashville bucket list – maybe in four months you’ll have so much fun that you’ll realize you’re here for a reason, or maybe you’ll want to go home.”

Well, I took that advice wholeheartedly. And, almost without knowing it, I checked off a bunch of things I came to Vanderbilt wanting to do. I joined a a sorority, I was in a musical, I started stage managing again, I started my own blog, and more. By doing all of these things, even if they felt like “checking boxes” at the time, I’ve found so many ways to love Vandy.

I was taking pictures on the steps of Wyatt the other day, and I started smiling so hard. I looked at those pictures later and I realized that I couldn’t remember the last time I genuinely smiled like that. I have found happiness here in ways I couldn’t have ever imagined six months ago.

In all this time that I was busy making other plans, life happened.

With five weeks left, go make life happen.

Anchor Down,

Brooke

Okay people, we all know its #MidtermSzn, so I decided to go with an unconventional post this week. Hope y’all laugh or at least look at some cute doggos!

TL;DR? — there are puppies at the bottom of this post!!!!

The past two weeks have been #ruff because of exams, essays, life, etc … I’ve read (mostly) something like seven books this term, and my eyes are slowly starting to glaze over every time I pick up my computer to write another essay. Basically …

I have a feeling my midterm grade in Art History is not looking so hot, and I contemplated skipping class today so I didn’t have to get my test back (likely reaction below), but that probably wouldn’t help.

I keep telling myself all of my professors are cramming these assignments in last minute, but really … they’ve been on the syllabus all term. Either way, though, I’m pretty over it …

But … the bright side? Well, for starters, we still have half of a term to potentially turn our grades around? … right?

AND! In three short days it’s SPRING BREAK!

We’ll have NINE DAYS OFF to sleep, or dance, or eat real food …

So, while I know this week is terrible, hold on tight! Finish strong! I know y’all can do it …

And, in the meantime … enjoy these puppy gifs … because we all need some doggies, and these are arguably the only thing that’s going to get my through today.

Good luck with the last few days!

Anchor down,

Brooke

As I sat in Commons trying to write this post an hour before it was due, I wasn’t really sure what I was going to blog about this week. I realized I was cold, and grabbed my new sweatshirt from my bag. As I pulled the “Vanderbilt English” sweatshirt over my head, I realized what I could write about… writing.

It seems so simple, but I guess I took telling y’all I love writing for granted. I felt like it was implied because, well, I’m writing these posts. But today, I’m not taking that for granted.

I love writing. I try to write as much as possible, and this year I decided I was going to start a Bullet Journal so I could try to write more.

I know it’s already February, but the front page of my Bullet Journal says “the year to…” with a graphic of a few things I wanted to focus on this year. Some of these things are directly linked to my writing, and some are not. But they’re all important to my goals and my use of that journal, so I thought I would explain what each of the graphics mean.

“Call home more” — I need to call my mom more. You probably should too… our parents miss us.

“Listen” — as a reminder to be a thoughtful listener. Not everything needs a response, but everything deserves to be heard.

“Escape sometimes” & “Know my limits” — to make sure I’m being cognizant of my own needs, and allowing myself to take a break if I need one.

“Let Him in” & ‘Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding” — I want to focus on my faith more this year. Trusting in Christ who loves us so well.

“Love more; myself & others” — because this world needs a whole lot more love.

“Embrace Mondays” — They can be terrible… I know… but it’s just another day. A fresh start. This year I’m going to try and use that as a good thing.

“Focus on my words of ’19: congruency, devotion, reflection” — This year I didn’t give myself a “New Years resolution.” I gave myself three words to try and live out each day. “Congruency,” or “agreement and harmony; comparability.” I’m trying to live this by being congruent in my words and my actions. Following through. “Devotion,” or “love, loyalty, or enthusiasm for a person, activity, or cause.” I’m a very determined person, but sometimes that leaves me too focused on a colder side of things. Devotion has a more soft, human quality, and that’s how I want to work this year… devoted to things. And finally, “reflection,” or “serious thought or consideration.” Basically, am I actually being congruent? Devoted? Am I loving more? Embracing Mondays?

“Get my paragraph right” & “Remember to look up” — both of these are taken from an amazing book by Beck Dorey-Stein called “From the Corner of the Oval.” She opens one of her chapters with a quote from one of Obama’s Presidential speeches. It reads something like “we are all just living in this world that is one big paragraph. We need to get our paragraph right.” For me this means I need to focus on making sure my impact on this morning, this school, someone else’s life, is positive. Remembering to look up is my reminder to stop and let the good times sink in before they are gone.

“Be positive” — because we all need that reminder.

“Read” — because I love a good book.

“Drink a little less coffee” — because 2019 is the year to stop my coffee addiction… wish me luck.

This Bullet Journal certainly helps me to write. But it also helps me to remain aware of the goals I set for myself this year.

What are your goals? What can you write about?

Get your paragraph right this year.

Anchor down,

Brooke

For the past several months I’ve desperately wanted to see Mean Girls on Broadway. I wanted to go so badly not only because it’s Mean Girls (I mean come on) but also because I’ve seen the lead, Erika Henningsen (who plays Cady Heron), perform before, and I knew how amazing she was.

I was finally able to get tickets over Christmas break, and I was so excited! When I realized what day I would be going, though, I felt a strange sense of deja vu. My Mean Girls tickets were for December 30th, 2018, and this date felt eerily similar.

Flash back to December 30th, 2015– I walked into a small theatre in Wilmington, DE that I grew up acting at. I was there to see a little-known show written by Sheryl Crow that was waiting to get picked up for Broadway. That night, I was floored by the brilliance and beauty of Diner. Erika Henningsen played one of the leads in that show, and I was instantly in awe of her. Since then, I’ve followed her on social media, and have been constantly impressed by her talent, grace, and activism. When she landed the role of Cady in Mean Girls, I knew I had to go.

So what I realized looking at my Mean Girls ticket was that I had seen Erika Henningsen perform for the first time exactly three years before! After the show, I waited at the Stage Door for Erika, and I told her my small-town story. This might not feel like a huge deal, but it was actually pretty impactful. It felt like a total full-circle moment, and it was an amazing reminder to myself and Erika that the best parts of life happen in mysterious ways. Sometimes I can get so wrapped up in reaching for my goals that shifts in my path can feel overly-dramatic. I’m sure Erika didn’t necessarily want to spend two months living in a small, somewhat antiquated town, but now she’s on Broadway! This weird occurrence was a sweet reminder to stay faithful and trust that life will work itself out– and maybe even provide you with some amazing musical theatre along the way.

Trust in something this week!

Anchor Down,

Brooke

Flashback to the year 2008. I was in the third grade, only eight years old. It was November break, and my few friends and I were planning a sleepover. The movie “The Clique” had just come out, and we were planning to watch it that night. It was a really big deal… obviously. Probably equipped with Juicy Couture velour pants and pink glittery t-shirts from Justice, we sunk into the couch to watch the movie.

I honestly couldn’t tell you who was at that sleepover, or even what we did besides watch “The Clique.” I can remember, however, that the main character, Massie, wrote a blog. I can remember a lot about that blog, actually. She called it “The Current State of the Union,” and the page had two columns- one for what she deemed was “in” and one for things that she decided were “out.”

Why do I remember this? Well, at eight years old, I decided I wanted to write a blog, too. The very next morning, after eating half a box of pop-ems with my friends, I grabbed a pen and paper. I started, “Brooke Mackenzie’s State of the Union”… original, I know.

The point of all this is that I have always wanted to write a blog. Sure, it took me ten years to truly start writing one, but here we are… much to the delight of my eight-year-old self.

If you’re reading this, you probably know that this blog originally began in August as a publication for this page on mycommons.life. Over the past few months, writing The Girl Next Dore blog posts has become a huge part of my life. So, I decided to expand this blog into a personal page in order to grow and expand my writing.

This has been a long time goal, and I am so excited to fully begin this journey. I hope you will come along with me! You can visit my personal site at www.thegirlnextdore.com

Anchor down,

Brooke

‘Twas the night before exam week, when all through VU

Not a creature was stirring, just trying to make it through;

The finals were printed by the Professors with care,

In hopes that their students be filled with despair;

The students were studying atop their beds,

While visions of home danced in their heads;

Freshmen on Commons fell into a trap,

Thinking they’d rest for “just a short nap”;

They awoke hours later, and started to cry,

Tore open their books, and wondered “God why?!”;

Rand was now empty, no one in sight,

As the hours grew longer, there was a feeling of fright;

The morning had come, it was time for the tests,

Nothing to do, but to do your best;

“Now Gov, now Psych, now History and French,

Now Spanish, now Math, now Lit, and Gen Chem!”;

To the seats of Central!  To the Buttrick halls!

Now study! Study! Study it all!;

Campus was chilling, too quiet to like, 

Students too focused to get sleep at night;

But, yes!  In a week, we would cease to be around,

The freedom of home, the fall semester unbound;

In the blink of an eye, we’d be done our first chapter,

Of studying, maybe, but there’s a bigger matter;

The first term of college soon will be done,

Four months down out of four years of fun;

So the exams are important, don’t get me wrong,

But study, take them, and then move along;

With confidence and skill, let the facts fill your head,

Try not to let it all fill you with dread;

Know your grades are important, that’s not to forget,

But so is the future, the things you haven’t discovered yet;

So dwell not on missed questions, or even bad grades,

Think of the improvements that you haven’t yet made;

Study hard, get some sleep, remember you are bright, 

HAPPY EXAM WEEK TO ALL, AND TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT!

 

Anchor Down & Happy Holidays,

Brooke

You walk onto campus after Thanksgiving Break, stomach and heart hopefully full. Your suitcase rolls over the fallen orange leaves, and you grunt under your breath as you drag it into the dorm, knowing that in three weeks you’ll have to pack your bags all over again.

In only a few short days, it will be December 1st. ABC’s 25 days of Christmas will start, Christmas trees will be decorated, stockings hung, and cheap Advent calendars bought.

I celebrate Christmas, so for me, historically, December has been a month that exists as a lead-up to the best day of the year. However, being away from home for the past four years has made things change. When December starts in two days, it won’t just be a countdown to Christmas (or any other December/January holiday), but a countdown to finals, and then going home.

These three weeks are typically some of the most challenging of the year because every class is wrapping up, while you’re also preparing for finals. This means that we are all likely already behind on work, probably having promised ourselves we would do things over Thanksgiving Break that we inevitably didn’t.

With all this added homework and testing, there is much less time to get into the holiday spirit. For me, the work is annoying, but what’s been hardest about these three weeks is not being at home. Instead of walking in our houses to the smell of an evergreen tree, we come back to the same dorm room we’ve lived in for almost 4 months now. The string lights that line many of our walls are not hung for Christmas cheer, but rather as decorative dorm pieces that usually don’t even get turned on.

So the reality is, being away from home makes the Christmas season much different than it was as a kid. A lot of times, people say “oh that’s just a part of growing up.” But I think the more accurate thing to say is “oh that’s because you’re not at home.” And, of course, not being at home is a function of growing up, so I guess in some ways the former is correct.

So why am I mentioning this? To prepare anyone who hasn’t experienced this different type of December yet? No. Not at all. I say none of this to be cynical, or say that Christmas is lame as a young “adult.” Rather, I think all of these things are reasons for us to work a little harder at feeling like we’re in the Christmas spirit. 

Secret Santa? Yes, please. … Hot chocolate? Okay! … Christmas PJs? Oh yeah. … Cookies? Come bake with me! … Watching Elf 5 times? Already did it, but would gladly do it again. … Holiday parties? Count me in.

It may never be the same as being home for the start of the Christmas season, but this time of year is about family and friends. So being here at Vandy seems like a pretty great place to start.

 

Anchor down,

Brooke