Wow, my first-year of college is over. I am sitting here typing this, and I am in a state of disbelief. I feel like time passed like molasses, but also at the speed of a turtle. That’s life I guess. I struggled to come up with a topic to write about for my last MCL article. I don’t think I could have written anything else other than a goodbye letter to freshman year.
Dear Freshman Year,
YOU FRICKING SUCKED! Just kidding, but this fall was definitely the equivalent of eating a dirty sock. I struggled finding friends and finding myself. I felt the pull to be so many things at once that I ended up stuck constantly second-guessing myself. I felt paralyzed by my classes and I felt stagnant in my development as a human. So much had changed globally, but I still felt like a senior in high school, even though I was hundreds of miles away, in a new city, around hundreds of new people, and in new classes.
Things turned around in the Spring semester. I got closer with my friends, and I explored so much more. I learned so many new things about myself, and I learned how to be alone. I learned about my likes and dislikes, I learned how to take care of myself when I am sick, and I became an expert at juggling my time. Life is so friggin’ hard guys. That’s my biggest conclusion from freshman year. It is never going to stop being hard. If it’s not a pandemic, then it’s going to be an illness, or a dead family member, or a rejection from a job. We constantly face battles, but the perspective we have when facing them matters most. I changed my perspective and learned to find the best angle to make myself happy. I reminded myself of what I could be grateful for, like my dad, cats, good books, chai lattes, and good friends. MCL has changed my life, and made me rethink my first-year experience for the better.
I am radically different from who I was a year ago. It’s crazy to think that April 2020 Zoe would not recognize April 2021 Zoe. This was a weird way to start college, but it’s made me a better person in how I view obstacles and what I want to achieve in life. I want to spread happiness, rather than obliterate it. I want to keep exploring, keep growing, and keep finding happiness in the difficult times. I don’t know how to sum up my first-year experience, because I am still grappling and exploring how this time has impacted me. We have all gone through so much in such a short time that I think we will all keep thinking about how we have changed after 2020. I am just so grateful to have been able to leave home and continue on my journey to finding myself. I don’t know where sophomore year will take me, but I am so excited for the ride.
I want to shout out a couple of people that have kept me alive and happy this year. Special thanks to: Emilio, Mia, Mira, Sasha, Norman, Karen, cats in general, Suzie’s chai and cinnamon raisin bagel, my German class, Buttrick spinny chairs, Jim Hayes, Paige Clancy, and everyone who has ever smiled at me. You all have done more for me than you know.
I wish everyone the best of luck this summer and in sophomore year.
Lots of love,
P.S. Here are some of my fav pics:)