My Commons Life

News & features about the Vanderbilt Commons from the students who live here

Opinion

Why The Fear Of Embarrassment Is Ruining Your Life

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The fear of embarrassment could be ruining your life and you may not even know it. I first want to clarify what fear of embarrassment is and is not. The fear of embarrassment is NOT just avoiding having an embarrassing moment (I don’t think anyone wants to be embarrassed). It also is NOT just being nervous that something may go wrong. In this context, the fear of embarrassment is when you avoid certain situations such as a love interest, a job, or a presentation just because you may be embarrassed. Everyone avoids embarrassment, but when you go out of your way to avoid embarrassment, it can become an even bigger problem for you. Embarrassment is a natural part of life and is not always bad. At the moment, it can feel like the end of the world, but I promise it’s not — it will probably be a funny story to tell your friends later on. 

The fear of embarrassment makes you miss out on opportunities because you are scared of being judged (I’m very guilty of this). I will say, the fear of other people’s opinions can leave you feeling paralyzed. I feel like it has become very normalized to believe that your worth is based on other people’s approval. However, it’s not — other people’s perceptions of you do not matter. Also, 99% of the time…no one actually cares. The fear of embarrassment makes you miss out on small things, but also can stop you from going after your dreams or being the real you. Embarrassment does not last forever, but avoiding it can be extremely destructive to your personal development. It may feel very intense in the moment, but understand that this is a short-lived feeling. 

Sometimes the fear of embarrassment can show up in little ways such as avoiding asking or answering questions in class because you are scared that you may be wrong.  Being scared of external judgment is one of the main things that stops us from reaching our full potential. This fear is irrational and could be due to the fragility of our egos. It is okay to be hesitant about trying something new, however do not let external judgment keep you in a box: wear that outfit, go out with that person, and apply for that job. Try everything you want to without the fear of being embarrassed. Making mistakes is normal and being embarrassed is okay. Be kind to yourself, and remember you are not alone. 

Of course, there are certain things that I hope you do avoid, like walking in on your roommate or stranger in the bathroom or calling your professor “mom.” But, if any of those happen, remember it is not the end of the world. Do not pass up on opportunities because of your fear of embarrassment; nothing is embarrassing until you feel embarrassed. The next time you stop yourself from trying something new, ask yourself: what exactly are you afraid of?

Becoming Okay with Not Doing Everything

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I know that “becoming okay with not doing everything” may sound like a weird concept at first, but I think it is a concept a lot of us tend to forget. Becoming okay with not doing everything translates to allowing yourself time to rejuvenate instead of overexerting yourself. A lot of the time we are constantly pouring into so many cups that by the time we get to ours, there is nothing left to give. We cling onto our past commitments while also making new ones without considering how trying to do everything can hurt our mental health. Sometimes I put my mental health on the back burner and all my other commitments in front of it. This has led me to learn that prioritizing my mental health is very important. I believe it is even more important to make sure that you are doing something for yourself everyday rather than just doing so when it’s “bad.” I realize that what works for me will not work for everyone, but I find that occasionally journaling, listening to podcasts, reading, and stretching helps me to be intentional about it. If you decide to journal, make sure you do it on the good days as well as the bad. This will help when you are feeling bad and you have an intrusive thought of “I do not remember the last time I felt happy” — now you have a reminder. Also, I have found that rereading the bad days is just as important, because this will help you see progress and show you how you can handle things differently. I also have found that as cliche as it may sound, affirmations and quotes have also inspired me to be more intentional about my mental health. One of my favorite quotes is by Alan Watts where he says, “Stop measuring days by degree of productivity and start experiencing them by degree of presence” 

You are allowed to let go of past commitments if they no longer align with what you want to do anymore. You are allowed to take time off to do things for yourself. You are allowed to not do everything. You cannot do your best without taking your mental health into consideration. Another one of my favorite quotes describes doing your best as “doing what you can without harming your mental and physical health” rather than “doing something with no regard for your own limits.” It is okay to have ups and downs in your mental health; it doesn’t erase your progress. I hate the term but it is also okay to be “lazy.” However, taking time to care for your physical and mental health is not negatively “lazy,” it is productive. Your perception of yourself affects your mental health. If you are struggling with mental health issues and need help finding resources, Vanderbilt offers many opportunities. Connecting with the Student Care Coordination here will get you in touch with therapists at Vanderbilt and off campus. Sofia El-Shamma has an in depth article discussing Getting Therapy at Vanderbilt if you would like more details. Just remember, asking for help does not make you weak. Therapy helps a lot and it is not embarrassing to ask for help. Ultimately, you can listen to all this advice but it is your job to apply it to your life. Nothing is permanent, you are not stuck, you have a choice, and you will get out of this.

Top 5 Disney Songs to Get You Through Your First Week

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Hey friends! While all Disney songs are worth listening to, there are certainly a few that will ring true during our first week at Vanderbilt. 

5. We’re All in This Together – High School Musical 

Kicking off our Top 5 is a song that comes from one of the most legendary Disney Channel Original Movies ever: High School Musical. Coming into our first year at Vanderbilt, we are quite literally all in this together. As we make our way through the first week, remember that we’re all in the same big move-in and orientation boat. 

4. Try Everything – Zootopia

Judy Hopps plays this song through her headphones (earphones?) as she arrives in Zootopia, eager to prove herself in her new home. I feel like most of us will have a similar desire to not only prove ourselves in a new environment, but to thrive as well. This song contains a message that’s all about entering a new life chapter and being unafraid of a challenge. Through trying new experiences, meeting new people, and making Vanderbilt a home, this song can carry you through not only the first week, but for a long time after. 

3. Hakuna Matata – The Lion King

As I’m sure you’ve all heard from every college advice video on the internet, there will almost assuredly be times during which you feel like an exile hiding from your evil uncle whilst in the company of a meerkat and warthog. In Swahili, this wonderful phrase translates to, “no troubles”, or “no problems”. The song’s message has a lot to do with the ability to let go, trust the flow of the universe, and let life come to you. 

2. Into the Unknown – Frozen 2

Elsa’s ballad in the second-highest grossing animated movie of all-time is all about venturing into – you guessed it – the unknown. During the first week especially, many of us will be doing just that; from meeting new people left and right to getting lost on the way to Rand. This completely new territory that we’re all getting dropped in to will certainly be a challenge to navigate both physically and mentally, but it’s time for the adventure of a lifetime. It’s time to follow what led you here – allllll the way into the unknown.

1. Strangers Like Me – Tarzan

Rounding off our list is a song that only strengthened the legend of Phil Collins. During the first week, most of us will be complete and total strangers to each other. This song’s message of being among others who might be more familiar than you know is one of the best mindsets that we can carry coming into college. The connection created between Tarzan and those he never knew is perfectly emphasized in this song. It may lead you to questioning what the difference is between a stranger and a lifelong friendship waiting to happen. 

Honorable mentions:

You’ve Got a Friend in Me – Toy Story 

Rainbow connection – The Muppet Movie

Circle of life – The Lion King

And that completes our top 5! If you need a boost to get through this first week, give these songs a listen via the playlist down below!

The Fresh Fizz: A Biweekly Review

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Step aside Yik Yak, there’s a new hottie in the villa… Fizz made its debut on campus a couple of weeks ago when they dispatched their ambassadors to give out merch and honey-glazed donuts to advertise the new app that resembles its predecessor, Yik Yak, in its anonymous posting and geographic feed filtering. Fizz was created by Stanford students who launched the project on their campus for proof of concept, convincing 80% of their student body to download and use the app, before scaling to multiple universities after closing a seed funding round.

Okay enough talk, let’s get to the fizz:

Sorry to break it to y’all… but it’s November already. One more month of school then it’s finals season. What is even happening anymore?

Anyways, has anyone been getting a lot of VU Alerts lately? It kinda makes me feel special to know they care until I remember that they send the same emails and voicemails to literally everyone else. But yeah, it’s lowkey giving GTA vibes (not really though, referencing another Fizz iykyk). Robbery at noon (yeah, weird) on 21st on a Thursday. Bizarre. Speaking of 21st, typical “I miss Wesley” post incoming.

The Melodores performed at Sarratt Cinema on Friday night, garnering mixed reviews from the audience. Several conversations have also been brought up about the discrepancy in funding and support for the performing arts groups on campus vs. the athletic teams. And here’s some alleged, unconfirmed goss about some Melo-shenanigans sprinkled in.

Next up: one of the biggest topics of discussion on campus right now is… drum rolls please… registration season! This anxiety-inducing process is upon us now, and everyone is freaking out about making decisions about their future 

Ending on a more positive note: these are your reminders to get out there, touch some grass, and appreciate life. 🙂

Opinion: Stir-fried Noodles Shouldn’t Be a Breakfast Food

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Noodles
The breakfast-to-lunch transition is too early.

I’ll admit: I am not the world’s biggest breakfast person. I don’t really like to eat large meals in the morning (it makes me nauseous), and classic breakfast foods like scrambled eggs and bacon are just alright to me. Despite that, I still like to eat a light meal in the mornings to give myself some energy. I might grab a cup of yogurt with some fruits, or perhaps a smoothie and a bagel. Stir-fried noodles and salad aren’t exactly top contenders on that list, but it’s inevitably what I end up having to eat on Tuesdays and Thursdays because of how early the breakfast ends in Commons.

My first class on those days is at 11 a.m. in that exact building—I clearly don’t have much of a reason to walk anywhere else to get my meal. I usually get to the dining hall at about 10 a.m. (which I think to be a perfectly reasonable hour for breakfast), and am always met with immense disappointment and heartbreak when I see that, for some reason unknown to man, it is officially lunchtime in Commons. At 10 a.m. in the morning! Who is eating lunch that early? I know that it’s not just me who thinks it’s odd either, because I’ve heard some of my friends voice the same opinion.

Of course, this isn’t my only frustration with campus dining hours. I wish that Rand was open on the weekends, or that I could get dinner later than 8 p.m., or that maybe I’d be able to get breakfast earlier than 9 a.m. on the weekends.

Actually, let me pause my original train of thought for a second, because I need to get this off my chest. The fact that the dining halls open so late on the weekends always rubs me the wrong way, because I’m forced to spend somewhere off campus for a meal if I have events in the morning. I’m thankfully not completely reliant on my meal plan, but it feels a bit icky that my only other reliable option is to starve if I don’t want to spend. Not to mention that morning people exist! I’m obviously not one of them, but I’m sure they’re out there somewhere!

But I digress. As I was saying, I clearly have other issues with campus dining. However, I understand that extending operating hours could potentially be difficult due to logistical issues with employees or something of the sort. They get the benefit of the doubt, because I think it would be a bit depressing to research and find out that the change is actually perfectly feasible, but is simply not happening because some executive doesn’t feel like making it happen. Also, things are getting better (or so I’ve heard from upperclassmen), even if there are issues still present.

That being said! I can’t see why it would be difficult to simply make the breakfast-lunch transition an hour later. Maybe I’m just giving away my ignorance with that statement. Even so, as much as I love noodles, I still think stir-fried noodles shouldn’t be a breakfast food. And that is a hill that I will hopefully not have to die on!

MCL Top 5 Things to do Instead of Studying for Finals

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The end is near but there is still a lot to do. Papers’ due dates a hurling towards us and finals are less than two weeks away. It is going to be a long few weeks, and all of us could use a break from studying every once in a while. So whether you are procrastinating or taking a “well-deserved break,” here are the MCL Top 5 Things to do Instead of Studying for your finals.

1. Party at Rites of Spring

This Friday and Saturday April 22 and 23, the biggest event of the year will be held on Alumni Lawn. Artists like 2 Chainz, Miguel, Waka Flocka Flame, and more will be preforming right here on campus. This is an event you better be sure not to miss.

2. Attend the Commons Ball

Here’s another event this weekend that is worth stopping by. This year’ Botanical Ball will be held on Commons Lawn on Sunday April 24 from 7-10 PM. Make sure to check it out.

3. Go Somewhere You’ve Never Gone Before

Most of us only have a few weeks left on campus before we head home for the summer. If you need a break from studying, do some exploring. Whether it is on campus or around Nashville, there are still plenty of new and interesting places to find.

4. Watch the 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee

No, this isn’t an actual spelling bee; it’s a musical being preformed by Vanderbilt Off Broadway this weekend. If you still feel like you want more to do during the weekend before the final week of classes, this would be a great thing to go see.

5. Use Up Your Meal Money

It’s now or never folks. Whatever meal money you have left, spend it up because whatever you don’t use before the end of the year will be gone. Not to mention, there is nothing like a good meal to refresh you for several more hours of studying.

Grievances of a Homeless Sophomore

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Life on campus following Spring Break has been hectic. I’ve been swamped with papers and tests, classes need to be picked for the fall, and many organizations are trying to cram in one or two more big events before the school year ends. So while I am in the midst of figuring out how I am going to make it through the final few weeks of this year, I also have to figure out where I am going to live next year.

The answer to this seems easy: I will be living on campus (whether I like it or not). I knew there would be a residential requirement when I chose this school, but I was also told there were lots of options following my first year. Most of you have probably figured out by now that claim was misleading (at best). 

For almost a month, OHARE has been running the main housing assignment process for suites, apartments, and dorms which means that much of the Class of 2025 has been receiving weekly bad news since Spring break ended. While there were a few lucky ones who got 3-person apartments, no rising Sophomores got a 4 person suite, 2 person apartment, or a single room, yet we were told that we should go through those processes anyways. 

But why? Rising Seniors and Juniors get first pick in each of the processes anyways, so why not let all them pick at once like they do with classes? We won’t get the best rooms regardless of how many small steps the process is broken into; at least this structure could save us a month of torment, of belief we have a chance to get the room we want, of hope we’ll get a real choice in where we live next year. If we won’t actually have a great selection of rooms available for our choosing, at least respect us enough to show us an accurate picture of what is up for grabs.

This week, the process finally comes to an end as the last category of rooms will be picked: the dreaded doubles. We all tried to avoid getting stuck here, but now we’re scouring the floor plans trying – with irrational optimism – to find that one double-in-the-rough that may be left over in the upperclassmen’s table scraps. We all know this probably won’t end much better than previous attempts, but at least this will be over soon.

See y’all in Branscomb next year!

Sincerely,

A Homeless Sophomore

MCL Top 5 Things to do Before the End of the Year

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It may be hard to believe, but we only have one month left in our Freshman Year. Whether it feels like the clock is ticking down too quickly or not quickly enough, one thing is for certain: the end is near. So with the year coming to a close, here are the MCL Top 5 things you should do before the school year comes to an end.

5. Go to a House Event

When your house has an event every week, it can be easy to take it for granted; however, house events are an experience unique to residential colleges. While some of you many have managed to get into a res college next year, these next few weeks may be our last chances to go to a house event for a while. Especially with some houses doing big end-of-the-year events, this is the perfect time to take a break and enjoy some food in the company of your housemates.

4. Plan Your Classes Longterm

This one may not sound as fun as the others on this list, but it is a MUST DO before the school year comes to a close. This year, class registration was a whirlwind. Between getting used to life in college and being the last to pick our classes, just getting enough classes to reach the 12 credit hour minimum was a feat worth celebrating. Many of us did not even know what our majors would be: of course scheduling was going to be a struggle. But now, much of that has changed. Most of us have settled into our (tentative) majors, and we are no longer at the bottom of the totem pole in class selection. This is the perfect time to figure out not only which classes you will take in the fall, but also future semesters. This may seem daunting, but if you are in the major that is truly right for you, looking at your future classes will make you look forward to the future, not dread it.

3. Take a Walk

I have said it before and I will say it again: we live on a beautiful campus. Now that the weather is getting really nice, it is a perfect time to get outside and appreciate your surroundings. When most of us leave in May, we will not get to see these grounds again until August. Enjoy campus while you are still here.

2. Use Your Meal Money

Use it or lose it. Meal Money resets at the end of the year, so make sure to use it all up. Try something new, or go to Jeni’s for the 100th time: it does not matter. Whatever it is that you like to eat, treat yourself. Just make sure to enjoy your time and get some good meals.

1. Do that one last thing

We all have that one thing we have been telling ourselves we should do. This one will be different for each of us. It could mean finally going to a baseball game or the meeting of a certain club. It could be a personal goal that you keep putting off. It does not have to be something big. For me, it was lying outside in a hammock. For a few months now, I have owned a hammock, and I kept telling myself I would put it up and lie in it one day. Last week I finally did it, and it felt amazing. Whatever your “hammock” is, go for it.

MCL Top 5 Picks I Regret in My March Madness Bracket

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March Madness: it’s the magical season when we all realize we are master sports analysts, declare to the world our infallible tournament predictions, . . . and then proceed to scream at the TV for three weeks straight. Like many of you, I crafted an amazing bracket. Although no one has ever come close to making a perfect bracket, it has to happen sometime, right? I knew this year would be the one, and the first perfect bracket would – of course – be mine. That was until Michigan upset Colorado State during the first game on the first day of the first round. So to all my fellow amateur analysts out there, I share with you my Top Five largest regrets in my March Madness Bracket. If you managed to avoid these errors, congratulations, and if not, take solace in the fact that you’re not alone.

5. Overestimating Auburn

I thought taking Auburn to the Elite Eight would be a good idea given the season they had. It seems they may have peaked a little too early. After an 18 point loss to Miami on Sunday, I wish I had knocked the Tigers out of my bracket a little sooner.

4. Taking South Dakota State to My Sweet Sixteen

I know. I should have known better than selecting a 13 seed to advance that far. Miracle runs for bottom-ranked teams are possible (look at St. Peter’s for example), but predicting exactly when and where they will occur requires greater precision than my strategy of semi-informed guessing can provide. The worst part is that I doubt the Jackrabbits’ defeat will do anything to stop me from making this same mistake next year.

3. Underestimating Houston and Purdue

I definitely missed the mark on these two. I had UAB knocking out Houston in the first round and Texas knocking out Purdue in the second. After watching the tournament unfold, I think both of these teams have a lot of fight left in them and a solid chance of advancing further. Houston is coming off a commanding win against Illinois and faces an Arizona team that struggled to fend off TCU. Purdue is in even better shape as they are now the top seed in the East and face 15 seed St. Peters in the Sweet Sixteen.

2. Taking Loyola to My Elite Eight

Can you blame me for this one? It’s usually fairly safe to assume that Loyola will make a run in the tournament. Even though it wasn’t technically an upset, I was shocked when Loyola got knocked out during the first round (and by a double digit loss nonetheless). Even with my (misplaced) confidence in this team, Elite Eight still seems like it may have been a bit too far.

1. Taking Kentucky to the Championship Game

We all knew this one would be here. St. Peter’s upset against Kentucky busted far more brackets than just mine, but that loss on the first day still hurts. The worst part is, when I picked my bracket, I actually considered the fact that St. Peter’s might upset Kentucky, but then said to myself “That’s ridiculous. Kentucky will be fine.” To be clear, I’m not mad I picked Kentucky to win that game (those upsets are too rare to try to predict); I’m disappointed that in spite of my concerns, I still took Kentucky to be the runner up of the whole tournament.