class of 2028

Common Ground, Uncommon Lives: Tales from the Commons

October 28, 2024 by Callie Tuck

1.) Emily Benfield

Meet Emily Benfield! She is a dedicated and resilient individual originally from Newport, Rhode Island, but has also lived in California and Virginia Beach (Where she now lives). She has a lived a very unique journey. In fifth grade Emily was diagnosed with Dyslexia and Developmental Coordination Disorder. Facing these early challenges, Emily developed a strong work ethic and a knack for creative problem-solving, traits she now channels into her aspiration to become a teacher. She aims to support students in overcoming their own obstacles, drawing from her personal experiences. Which she wrote about in her Application to Vanderbilt, stating, “Disadvantages are Advantages.”

On top of this, she has been actively engaged in her community through her organization of two impactful events: the Love Run and the Color Run. The Love Run, coordinated with two local high schools, raised over $50,000 to help cover medical expenses for children facing extended hospital stays at Children’s Hospital of The King’s Daughters (CHKD). Meanwhile, the Color Run was a heartfelt tribute to a loved one who passed due to cancer complications, raising funds and bringing the community together in their memory.

Additionally, Emily was deeply involved in theater, where she took on roles as a technical supervisor and assistant director, overseeing set design, construction, and actor coordination—sometimes staying as late as 9 p.m. to ensure production quality! Her favorite musical she was a part of was, “The Little Mermaid,” and her favorite play was, “Puffs.”

Ultimately, Emily is very service-orientated and willing to help others. She is incredible kind, dedicated and a loyal friend. She has a genuine compassion that stands out in her community and will accomplish many great things.

Top Five Best Things I Bought for My Dorm

October 28, 2024 by Elena Parisi

5. Toolbox

My dad was right when he said it would be useful to have a toolbox in my room. The most useful thing is the scissors, which I use so often that I now keep them out on my desk instead of inside the box. Most of the other stuff was useful during move-in, such as when my roommate’s dad was trying to build a shelf from Target. My dad also let me keep his rubber mallet, which makes me the most popular girl in my hall (not actually) because I lent it to so many people in the first few weeks so they could loft their beds.

4. Storage Ottoman

As a vertically challenged person, I am unable to get onto my partially lofted bed just by jumping (I have short friends who do this and it terrifies me). I decided to buy an ottoman to use as a step stool to get into my bed. Not only is it the perfect height, it also has many other functions. I can open the lid to store random things, such as the toolbox, and it serves as an extra seat when my friends are in my room. And when I want more space in the room I can just push it behind my bed. It fits the color scheme of my room too.

3. Laundry Drying Rack

Many of my clothes can’t go into the dryers because they are cotton, and these school dyers are scarily powerful. They keep burning my shirts if I accidentally put them in. I bought a collapsible drying rack, which is the perfect size for tucking in the back of my dorm room and drying my clothes. It also fits nicely under my bed when not in use. Would recommend.

2. Photo Fairy Lights

Fairy lights in the dorm room? Basic. But fairy lights with photos hanging from them? Marginally less basic. I will say setting this up was quite the hassle. First I had to get all the photos printed. Then I had to go through the struggle of figuring out what I would use to hang them up that wouldn’t damage the walls. I settled on mini command hooks, which I probably am not even supposed to have, but oh well. Then I spent over an hour sticking the hooks on the wall and stinging the lights over them. The kit comes with mini clothespins that I used to hang the photos. Now my friends and family get to stare down at me while I sleep! And guess how many times I’ve turned on the fairy lights? (Three times, including to take this photo).

1. Expandable Shoe Rack

I think I brought too many shoes. I have not worn 50% of these since I got here. And of the 50% I have put on, there’s only two pairs that I actually wear every day to class. I did not really need three pairs of dress shoes, or two pairs of the exact same sneaker. And while it is nice to have separate slides and shower shoes, the flip flops were overkill. That being said, the shoe rack is absolutely necessary for organizing all these shoes. It allows me to have double-decker shoe storage. I fear that without the rack, there would be shoes lying in a jumble all over the closet floor and probably sneaking out into the rest of the room. And it folds to half its size for transport.

Honorable Mentions

The mini pride flag that falls behind my desk every five seconds
The throw pillow I stole from my sister after telling her that it was just for the car ride to Nashville and my parents would bring it back to her in three days (love you sis)
The neon purple power strip that is slightly too short to reach the microwave and had to be duct-taped to the floor so I don’t trip on it

Top Five Worst Things I Bought for My Dorm

October 21, 2024 by Elena Parisi

5. Tension Rods

I knew previous to move-in that my closet would be doorless (let’s go Memorial), so I bought tension rods with the intention of hanging curtains from them to cover my clothing. However, I didn’t buy the curtains in advance because I didn’t know the dimensions of my closet. When I moved in, I had my dad put up the tension rod (I’m too short to do it myself), and I told myself I would buy the curtains later and hang them up. It has been over two months since then, and it still has not happened. The tension rod sits at the top of my closet, completely curtainless, where I fear it will remain until move-out when my dad takes it down.

4. Bed Desk

I bought this so I could do schoolwork from my bed, knowing fully well that I never do schoolwork in my bed. I strictly stick to using my desk for school work and using my bed for watching Netflix and rotting on Instragram Reels for two hours when I should be writing my anthro essay. I tried using it in bed once and it’s so large and awkward that it’s not worth the trouble. I was straight-up wasting money when I bought this.

3. A Swiffer AND a vacuum

There was really no reason to bring both. I have not touched the Swiffer even once. It sits in the corner of my closet. Since the vacuum works on both the hardwood floor and the carpet, I just use that. I guess I overestimated how much motivation I would have to clean. Honestly, if you don’t have a carpet in your room like I do, you could get by just fine with an old-fashioned broom and dustpan. Although it’s honestly shocking how many grown 18-year-olds don’t know how to sweep. And I’ve seen y’all try.

2. Clamp-on Nightstand

Yes, I had to take a screenshot of this from Amazon because I no longer have it with me.

I dragged this thing all the way here from the great state of Maryland, and it was here for all of two seconds before my parents promptly drove it back home with them. I thought I would be perfect for resting my phone and water bottle next to me while I slept. Turns out it doesn’t even fit on the dorm beds. Now it’s probably rotting in my parent’s basement. My bed is next to a window and I just use the windowsill as a nightstand, which works perfectly fine. Except when I jumpscare my roommate by tossing my phone from my bed onto the windowsill at 2 am (sorry girl).

1. Enough office supplies to power a small college

I have not used a single paperclip, post-it, or binder clip since I got here. I didn’t use them in high school either, so I don’t know why I thought they would be necessary now. The only useful office supply is my stapler, because apparently in college you not only need to pay a fortune in tuition, but you also need to supply your own staples. Because tell me why my bio professor hands us 30 loose sheets of paper during lab and expects us to not lose any of them.

Dining Daries: Rating All the Meals I Ate at Commons for a Week

September 29, 2024 by Elena Parisi

Over the course of a week in September, I ate six lunches and dinners at the Commons Center dining hall. I have rated the meals in various categories. They are listed in the order in which I ate them.

Tex Mex Bowl

Taste: ★★☆☆☆

Chipotle dupe? Yeah 100% but it’s really not bad. The tex mex rice is one of the better rices they serve, the beans are well cooked and flavorful, and adding in your own toppings like salsa and corn elevates the dish. The two point deduction was because the day I ate this, the pork was so so salty. Usually it’s never that salty. I don’t know what was going on.

Visuals: ★★★★☆

This picture was taken after I mixed it up because I forgot to take one before. It was much prettier when all the ingredients were separate. The corn and tomatoes add a nice pop of color.

Health: ★★★☆☆

There’s no way that much sodium is good for you. Make sure you’re drinking water guys.

Turkey Cheddar Wrap

Taste: ★★★★☆

A little skimpy on the turkey but overall pretty good. The cucumbers always hit and the basil pesto sauce is so good. The tortilla was nice and crispy, so crispy that it was literally crumbling in my hands as I ate. That slice of pizza kinda sucked though. Should’ve known when I saw the artichokes on it (sorry to my artichoke lovers).

Visuals: ★★★★★

That green tortilla is doing a lot. Also great artistic choice by me to hold up half the wrap to take the shot.

Health: ★★★★★

I have no clue what they put in that basil sauce (probably straight mayo), but otherwise everything in this is quite healthy.

Chicken Broccoli Alfredo Pasta

Taste: ★★★★☆

My family is Italian, so I have very high standards for pasta. That being said, this was quite decent for dining hall food. The pasta was well cooked but not mushy, the broccoli tasted fresh, and the chicken was neither dry nor flavorless (shocking, I know). The alfredo sauce did not taste quite like real cheese, but what was I expecting? This is about as close as I can get to my dad’s home-cooked Italian food on campus (literally not close at all but I’m desperate).

Visuals: ★★★★☆

As I said, green really does a lot for visuals. That broccoli is carrying an otherwise plain, colorless meal. But you know what, sometimes plain food tastes good if you smother it in enough cheese sauce, which seems to be what we’re going for when it comes to dining hall cuisine.

Health: ★☆☆☆☆

I think alfredo may be the least healthy invention of all time.

Sweet and Spicy Chicken

Taste: ★★★★★

I may in fact have a sweet tooth because I’m pretty sure this sauce was just straight sugar, but I ate that stuff up. The rice was pretty good and the veggies were well cooked. And those fried vegetable wontons are so freaking tasty. What do they put in them? Also, I have a medium-level spice tolerance, but can we talk about how they always say “spicy pork” and sometimes that means no spice at all (like this dish), but sometimes it will literally burn your tongue off? And there’s no way of knowing which of the two you’re getting.

Visuals: ★★★★☆

The red and green is such a nice color combo. And you can see the crispiness of the wonton through the photo.

Health: ★★★☆☆

Once again, most of the foods they serve in Commons are healthy enough… until you put the sauce on. Unfortunately, a few of the only ways to make a sauce tasty when you’re not a Michelin Star restaurant are butter, mayonnaise, and sugar, which are not exactly the staples of the balanced diet. Also I’ve seen the Commons deep friers. Those things are scary.

Orange Chicken

Taste: ★★☆☆☆

Commons wishes it could be Panda Express. Although this orange chicken initially tasted decent (the sauce was straight sugar), by the time I got four bites in I was over it. The texture of the chicken was rather nasty. Chewy, uncrispy, and way too much batter to chicken ratio. I was fighting for my life trying to find any real chicken in that chicken. The rice was not bad but those unseasoned vegetables get tiring day after day. Also, these wantons were the meat ones (don’t ask me which meat), not the veggie ones, and they are not nearly as good. In fact, I would go so far as to say they are bad. The pizza was better this time though, which is the only reason it’s rated a two instead of one.

Visuals: ★★★★☆

The shine on the chicken and the color from the veggies make this meal look much more appetizing than it really was.

Health: ★★☆☆☆
Most of this is actually decent health-wise, except for the fried stuff. However, is rice really all that healthy if you’re eating it for every meal?

BBQ Chicken, Brocolli, Baked Potato, and Tomato Soup

Taste: ★★☆☆☆

The only part of this meal with any flavor was the chicken. The potato? Unseasoned. The broccoli? Unseasoned. The “tomato basil soup?” It was straight-up marinara sauce, like from a jar. And not even the good kind either. The barbeque chicken, however, was scrumptious, juicy, and the only thing keeping me from rage-quitting the dining hall after that meal.

Visuals: ★☆☆☆☆

You can tell just from the picture that there’s no seasoning on this food. And why was there so much broccoli on that plate?

Health: ★★★★★

Usually baked potatoes are slathered in butter, however, since this one lacked any flavor, it remains healthy.

Top 5 Most Annoying Sounds on Campus

September 15, 2024 by Elena Parisi

5. Garland Hall construction

Picture this: It is 9:25 am, and you are walking to your first class of the day (let’s be real, we’ve all stopped arriving early to class now that we’re four weeks in). It is way too early in the morning, when all of a sudden, you hear this agitating, grating noise. What could it possibly be other than the Garland Hall construction, which seems to go on at all hours of the day. As you walk to your Spanish class, for which you definitely have not done the homework, you are greeted by the sounds of drilling, jackhammering, and Lord-knows-what-else. Your stress about your upcoming midterms is replaced with stress over the possibility of that giant red crane dropping approximately five tons of steel on your head. Those cables just do not seem strong enough.

4. Someone in your hall lofting their bed at midnight

The day pigs fly will also be the day your hallmates decide to loft their beds at a normal hour of the day, as opposed to 12:32 am. You were trying to go to bed early because your first calc exam is tomorrow, but you already wasted approximately one hour scrolling TikTok. Now that you’ve finally gone to bed and were about to fall asleep, you hear loud banging coming from a few rooms down. You are awoken to the sound of rubber on metal, and left wondering why college kids seem to lack understanding of their surroundings. Also, how the heck are y’all lofting your beds by yourselves or with only one roommate helping??? That’s like a four-person job.

3. Your phone pinging as the university sends you yet another irrelevant email

Inner VU, Brightspace, YES Message Center, Immersion Vanderbilt, and many, many more. I get approximately 20 emails a day from Vanderbilt. Every 30 minutes, my phone pings or vibrates. While I’m studying, while I’m eating, while I’m talking to friends, I am constantly being distracted by the buzz of yet another email cluttering up my inbox. And the worst part is, only like one in five such emails is actually relevant. Because tell me why Brightspace sends an email for every assignment you turn in. Back in the days of Canvas, there was no confirmation your assignment actually went through. You just had to pray. Also, can we talk about how YES sends an email every time you get a message, but won’t actually let you see the message through the email? Who came up with that???

Note: It took me only 3 days to get to that number of unread emails.

2. Your roommate’s alarm going off for their 8 am

It’s 7:20 am, and your roommate’s alarm is going off yet again after they pressed snooze for the third time. Your class is not until 11 am, and you were hoping to sleep in, but alas, you are pulled from your slumber as your roommate struggles to climb off their lofted bed and gets ready for class. You think to yourself, “How did we ever survive this in high school?” as you bury your head in your blanket to block out the noise of your roommate eating breakfast (since we’ve all given up on the dining hall breakfast) and try to fall back asleep. And the worst part: you have to deal with this three times a week for the rest of the semester.

1. Electric scooters nearly hitting you as you walk to class

You’ve never had a near-death experience until you experience an electric scooter zooming around a corner and nearly hitting you from behind. You both hear and feel the rush of air as the scooter flies past and you narrowly escape with your life. And these scooter riders seem to have no regard for safety as they swerve between groups of walking students and make sharp turns without looking. That bridge between Commons and Main is the #1 Danger Zone. If I ever end up in the hospital, these scooters will be the reason why. The scooter-ers also seem to have no regard for how goofy they look riding a scooter like an elementary schooler while the rest of us walk. And I’m sorry but I just can’t take y’all seriously when you try to fit those giant scooters in the dorm elevators and get it stuck in the doorway. Like be for real.

My Top 5 Aura Losses During My First Week at Vanderbilt

August 29, 2024 by Elena Parisi

5. Asking, “Where are the forks?” while standing right in front of them

It was my first time eating at Rand. I had heard about how bad the lines were, but I never truly believed it until I got there myself. After waiting 20 minutes, struggling to tell the dining staff what I wanted over the chatter, and balancing a plate, salad bowl, drink, and cookie in my arms, I managed to successfully scan my Commodore Card and get my food. This was back when Rand was using paper plates, so I was saved from the embarrassment of having to set up Reusepass on the spot in front of the waiting upperclassmen (which I definitely did not experience a few days later). I then entered the dining room and found myself forkless. I guess I had been expecting to pick one up before leaving the dining hall area, and was suddenly faced with the thought of having to eat my rice with my hands. I said out loud to myself, “Wait, where are the forks?” A girl standing next to me responded, “Right there.” I turned around to find the utensil dispensers no more than two feet away from me. I then proceeded to fight the dispenser for a good 30 seconds before figuring out how to get the forks out. Turns out you gotta pull pretty hard.

-100 aura

4. Dropping my freshly clean laundry on the floor

Doing laundry at Vanderbilt is like a war zone. I have the great fortune of living in Memorial House, meaning I have no laundry in my dorm. I therefore have to go to Stambaugh to do my laundry, which has four functional washers for the 260 students in the two houses. Make it make sense Vanderbilt. My friends and I went to do laundry on Saturday afternoon, apparently the same time everyone else decided to do theirs, even though half of y’all were supposed to be at the Community of Care event. When we arrived at Stam, there were no open washers, so we decided to try Hank and Gillette, only to find out that we were locked out of their laundry rooms. When we got back to Stam 20 minutes later some washers had finished, so I started my load after pulling out the underwear of some dude who failed to properly set a timer. When the 30 minutes was up I rushed back to the laundry room to get to my clothes before someone else could. While moving my stuff from the washer to the drier, I managed to drop multiple freshly cleaned shirts on that nasty nasty laundry room floor in front of at least five other students. I also somehow lost two socks. I swear I’m going to have no socks left by the end of the semester.

-300 aura. But +50 aura for actually washing my sheets (I better see y’all doing this).

3. Getting lost in a Medical Center building I was definitely not allowed to be in

A friend and I decided to walk classes together before they started. My friend is in the 1,100 person US Elections class in Langford Auditorium, so we decided to go there. This was before we attended the 90 thousand orientation events in Langford, so we had no clue where it was. We were coming from my class in Wilson, and followed Google Maps to the terrifying maze that is Medical Center. We started to follow the signs that pointed to the auditorium and got pretty darn close before we got confused, decided we had made a wrong turn (we hadn’t), and turned around. We then looked at Google Maps again, and it directed us to a building labeled Medical Research Building IV. “Is it in there?” we thought. We tried to open the door with our Commodore Cards, but it was locked. As we were about to walk away, a man in scrubs walked up and asked, “Do you guys need to get in?” We responded, “I think so?” and he swiped a physical ID card and opened the door for us. Inside, we found ourselves surrounded by nurses and doctors and not a single Vanderbilt student. “We’re definitely not supposed to be in here,” I said. We walked out of the other side of the building and ended up next to the Panera. It was then and only then that we were able to find Langford Auditorium. Turns out Google Maps knows where the buildings are but has no clue where the entrances are.

-1000 aura

2. Walking out of the dorm in slippers (multiple times)

We all know the shoes. Those ugly slides that you wear from your dorm room to the bathroom, because you’d have to be actually insane to put your bare foot on that bathroom floor. They’re my most worn shoes. On the first day of class, I got all dressed up, packed my backpack, and I had my slides on as I was brushing my teeth in the bathroom. I then proceeded to forget that I was not wearing real shoes, scanned into the elevator, and took exactly one step outside of my building before looking down at my feet and whispering a profanity that I will not repeat here. I then spent the next five minutes going back up the elevator, unlocking my door, changing my shoes, and coming back down. I consequently arrived late to class. Of course, I repeated this process approximately three times in the following days.

-400 aura (but times 4)

1. Reading the entire campus reading book

And finally, I fell prey to Vanderbilt’s messages that the campus reading would be very important when I arrived on campus and would be a major part of orientation. I spent more time than I care to admit this summer reading that book cover to cover (some of the points she makes are actually valid). Although I speedran writing the essay in like 20 minutes, I spent a lot of time editing it, as I thought it would be shared with the other students in my Visions group and wanted to make a good first impression. All this only to arrive on campus and spend no more than two minutes talking about the book in Visions. Seriously, it was mentioned literally once and then we moved onto some team building activity, never to speak of it again. And my VUceptor probably spent a grand total of 45 seconds skimming my essay (no shade though, I adore my VUceptor she’s so sweet). Well, at least Ms. Mónica Guzmán got her bag from Vandy buying like 2,000 copies of her book.

-100000000 aura

Sitting on Seating: The Definitive Rating of the Chairs of Commons

August 16, 2024 by Madelyn Pelletier

By Elena Parisi & Madelyn Pelletier

1. Dorm Desk Chairs

Overall Rating: ★★☆☆☆

“If you are really in it for the college experience, five out of five! But if you want comfort, style and a little bit of flair… one,” junior and VUceptor Kady Hillman said.

Comfort: ★★★☆☆

Although the fabric appears unassuming, sitting on this chair for too long will give you the phantom feeling of bugs crawling on any skin left uncovered. This is possibly a psychological consequence of knowing that countless other freshmen have sat in these seats before and that the upper limit on how clean a freshman dorm can actually get is quite low.

Visuals: ★☆☆☆☆

Minus the curved bar at the bottom, this chair is definitely chair shaped. The most remarkable visual aspect of this chair is its green cushioning that’s just a hue away from being someone’s favorite color, but in its current state will be forever overlooked in its mediocrity.

Armrests: ☆☆☆☆☆

Ready to consider a hard math problem? Looking to review a paper before submitting? Wondering whether the dorm normally makes noises like that, or if your ceiling is about to collapse? This chair lacks the armrests that make your deep acts of contemplation possible.

Creativity: ☆☆☆☆☆

It looks like a chair. Even picking another color for the cushioning could get this chair it’s first star in creativity

Practicality: ★★★☆☆

It can be sat on. It fits at the desk. There’s not much more to say.

2. Commons Dining Hall Chairs

Overall Rating: ★★☆☆☆

The dining hall chair is ugly, uncomfortable, and boring. However, it does exactly what it is supposed to do: provide students a place to eat.

Comfort: ★★☆☆☆

This chair is wooden and hard, which is overall not conducive to comfort. The indent in the seat and the angle of the chair’s back are good features. However, it is still the kind of chair that leads butt-numbness when sat in for extended periods of time.

Visuals: ★★☆☆☆

This chair is pretty ugly. As seen in the photo it’s also chipped. “These are actually the ones I’ve seen fully broken before,” junior and VUceptor Layne Foeder said. That’s a bad look.

Armrests: ★★★☆☆

There are no armrests. However, armrests are not the best for dining hall chairs. They may get in the way of eating and of entering/leaving your seat due to the crampness of the dining hall.

Creativity: ☆☆☆☆☆

BORING. I’ve seen this chair 1000 times before.

Practicality: ★★★★★

We must remember that this chair is designed for eating. You don’t want it too fancy. Adding cushions or fabric will increase comfort and visuals, but they will get disgusting with spilled food. The chair serves its purpose very well as a place to sit in for a brief time while eating.

3. Lower Quad Lawn Chairs

Photo by Elena Parisi.
Madelyn for scale.

Overall Rating: ★★★★☆

It’s probably a red flag to hate this chair. Iconic, comfortable, casual.

“If you do study on it, watch for the photographers, because they will capture you in the most unsuspecting moment,” Hillman said.

Comfort: ★★★☆☆

If you’re willing to lean all the way back, these chairs are comfortable. If you’re not, you’re better off sitting in the grass. “If you’re short, like me, you can fit your legs up in there and, like, criss cross action and relax,” Foeder said.

Visuals: ★★★★★

Their design is iconic and they’re possibly one of the most chairy chairs to ever chair. They’re pleasing to the eye, and placed exactly where you would expect them to be. This chair is in perfect harmony with nature.

Armrests: ★★★★★

They’re big. They’re possibly bigger than necessary, but an exorbitant surface area on an armrest has never been a bad thing. If I’m completely honest, it’s not super clear whether these are really big armrests or just really tiny tables at this point. Whatever they may be, they’re perfect just the way they are.

Creativity: ★★★☆☆

While, as stated above, their design is iconic, it also lacks creative flair. If I asked somebody to picture a lawn chair, chances are they’d imagine this exact chair. Further, as you’ll notice, the most common chair color on commons is green.

Practicality: ★★★★☆

The lawn chairs made for lounging will let you lounge on the lawn (shocking). If they weren’t so rigid in the posture you must take one to properly enjoy these chairs, they could be a 5/5. Still, the world is about flexibility, and it’s not always fair to expect the world to conform to what’s most comfortable for you.

4. Crawford Lounge Green Table Chairs

Overall Rating: ★★★☆☆

Most mid chair ever.

Comfort: ★★★☆☆

These chairs have some cushioning that makes them not uncomfortable, but not the most comfortable either. Very average.

Visuals: ★★★☆☆

Someone probably thought they ate with that fabric pattern. I mean A for effort but that Crawford green is a little gross.

Armrests: ★★☆☆☆

There are in fact armrests, which is nice while studying. However, they’re pretty thin. Your arm might slide right off. Very average.

Creativity: ★★☆☆☆

The fabric design shows that at least some thought was put in. The chair shape itself is boring. Once again, very average. Further, another green chair. Vanderbilt get non-green chairs 2024.

Practicality: ★★★★★

It’s definitely a chair. It’s good for sitting in, good for studying, good for group meetings around that big table, good for everything.

5. Commons Wooden High Chairs

Overall Rating: ★★★☆☆

What’s to love? All aspects of this chair are standard with exception to the below par comfortability and the above par leg length.

Comfort: ★★☆☆☆

This chair is all hard edges. Little is done to accommodate the human body besides making sure there is a flat surface to sit on. Even the back of the chair is too short to really enjoy, unless you’re lacking vertically.

Visuals: ★★☆☆☆

Not pictured in this photo is the back of the chair which is blue. I don’t think that adds to the chair’s visual appeal, but rather demonstrates the lack of cohesion in this chair’s design. It’s height, amplified by it’s thin metal legs, reminds me a little too much of a baby giraffe. I like the notion of a tall chair, but the execution leaves much to be desired (like, for instance, any semblance of effort).

Armrests: ★★★★★

This chair serves as an exception to the general rule that armrests are to be desired. Paired with its height, armrests would make getting into this chair even more difficult, and when you’re sitting down with potential friends from orientation, struggling into an armed (as in with armrests, not with weaponry) high chair is probably not the best first impression.

Creativity: ★★☆☆☆

Whoever designed this chair took another chair and just made the legs really long. The back is blue which is something, at least.

Practicality: ★★★☆☆

Again, you can sit on it. We aren’t going to ask much more of this chair.

6. Commons Amazon Hub Study Booth

Overall Rating: ★★★★☆

This chair is great because it provides you a comfortable study space while keeping you mysterious. The location leaves something to be desired though.

Comfort: ★★★★★

Veryyyyyyy comfortable. Nice and squishy with walls to lean against. “That is serenity, seclusion, peace,” Foeder said.

Visuals: ★★★★★

Black is classic. This looks so cool.

Armrests: ★★★★★

They’re big, soft, and comfy, everything you could ever ask for.

Creativity: ★★★★★

Your own personal hub for studying with walls to block out others? Genius.

Practicality: ★★★☆☆

How comfortable is too comfortable? We did see a student in there with her laptop open, laying down and scrolling TikTok. “If you have your heart set on it, make sure like nobody’s sleeping in it before you like, really go for it,” Hillman said. Might be hard to lock in.

Special considerations: Bonus points for the pull-out table. Minus points because it’s right next to the Amazon lockers. Try not to get a door opened in your face.

7. Memorial House Lounge Chairs

Photo by Madelyn Pelletier.
Elena for scale.

Overall Rating: ★★★☆☆

Probably good, but it’s a hard sell when your dorm bed is less than 100ft away.

Comfort: ★★★☆☆

The chair designers went too far in making this chair. As with most things, moderation is key and this chair gives you way too much space. Is it physically comfortable? Yes. Psychologically, though, the space can leave you feeling vulnerable. Still, this is a mostly comfortable chair.

Visuals: ★★★☆☆

There’s really nothing to it. The fabric print is okay, but at the very least, it’s not green (Unlike a majority of Common’s non wooden chairs).

Armrests: ★★★☆☆

This chair was designed for people who don’t have elbows. The armrests are positioned right at the top of the back, as if whoever designed this chair was an alien who didn’t realize our arms can bend twice. Extra credit for proof of earth’s first space-based furniture company.

Creativity: ★★☆☆☆

It looks like a chair. What can I say?

Practicality: ★★★★☆

This is a rare scenario where being only moderately comfortable works in the chair’s favor. If the Amazon Hub Study Booths are the tower of Babel, these Memorial Lounge Chairs are an act of piety to the chair designers of old.

8. Commons Ornate Wooden Chair

Overall Rating: ★★☆☆☆

While this chair looks beautiful, it is not ideal for actually sitting and feels out of place.

Comfort: ☆☆☆☆☆

Wood and hard. The back is just a wall, so you can’t lean back. You definitely don’t want to sit here for very long.

Visuals: ★★★★★

That woodworking is gorgeousssss. The vines are so ornate. The deep color gives it a very vintage feel. Kind of like you should find it in a museum and not in a random spot in the Commons Center?

Armrests: ☆☆☆☆☆

No armrests, no stars.

Creativity: ★★★★★

This is for sure the most unique chair on this list. I wonder how long it took to carve those leaves into the wood.

Practicality: ☆☆☆☆☆

Is this actually meant to be a chair? Probably not. But you can sit on it so we’re including it in this list.

9. Stambaugh Hexachair Circle Table

Overall Rating: ★☆☆☆☆

An affront to the goodness of humanity. “I hate them,” Foeder said.

Comfort: ★★☆☆☆

You know your friends hate you if they make you sit in the chair that’s in front of the table’s legs. Luckily, this table makes sure everyone experiences that discomfort. If I’m honest, I think these chairs are consciously malicious.

Visuals: ☆☆☆☆☆

I’m not sure whether I should compare these chairs (Or is it just a singular chair? What defines the individual?) to Frankenstein’s monster or the human centipede. Either way, it makes me uncomfortable.

Armrests: ★★★☆☆

My initial feeling was that similar to the Commons High Chairs, these chairs were better off without armrests since it would make it too difficult to get in. Unfortunately, they’re difficult to get in already since you can’t move them.

Creativity: ★★★★☆

Possibly too creative. I hate this.

Practicality: ★★☆☆☆

In a place of higher education, Hexachair Circle Tables serve as a reminder that we must work to be better each day. Take advantage of the opportunities that university offers you in order to not invent chairs such as these.

10. Martha River Ingram’s Chair

Overall Rating: ★★★★★★★★★★

This is the best chair on not only Commons, but on all of campus. And yes, I’ve only been to Main like once as of writing this, but that’s unimportant. This chair cannot be topped.

Comfort: ★★★★★

The statue was erected in 2012, which means Martha has been sitting in this chair for 12 years straight. It must be incredibly comfortable. Just look at that cushioning.

Visuals: ★★★★★

Chair looks great, Martha looks great. Very regal vibes.

Armrests: ★★★★★

These are the ideal armrests.

Creativity: ★★★★★

Martha’s chair is surrounded by three stone blocks. These blocks serve seats for freshmen to symbolically talk with her. According to Vanderbilt, the statue was “commissioned by Vanderbilt University to honor her leadership and philanthropic service.” And they’ve even got her holding that campus reading book, which she can’t seem to focus on either.

Practicality: ★★★★★

This is the perfect chair for Martha to watch over Lower Quad and judge freshmen as they walk back and forth from the package tent on move-in day. Are you sure you need all those throw pillows?