Since arriving at Vanderbilt, I’ve hardly ever felt unsafe while on campus or even in the surrounding area. Yet, last week, I realized that it wasn’t me I should have been worried about; it was my dear bicycle.
I never expected someone to even have the desire to steal my bike; after all, it was a piece of crap. When I bought it, I got the cheapest one at Walmart I could find that wasn’t for a child. The front brakes stopped working after I shoved it in the back of my car one day to bring it to a local trail. The chain always got grease on my leg, no matter how careful I was to avoid it brushing up against me. Piece of crap, yeah; but it was my piece of crap!
Before you ask, YES, I had it locked, YES, I registered it with the VUPD and have recently filed a report, and YES, I kept it on campus, right at my dorm. My lock might have been just a cable lock, but it was a pretty thick cable! I thought that was good enough, but apparently not.
I hope whoever stole my bike gets some good use out of it. Then, though, I kind of hope they get hit by a car. Not fatally, I wouldn’t wish for that, but at least enough to break an arm or get a nasty scrape. Enough to teach them a lesson to not steal other people’s bikes (or any belongings, for that matter). Maybe I’m an awful person for wishing that. Sue me. (Actually, please don’t. I can’t even afford a new bike; do you think I can afford a court case???)
I keep finding ways to blame myself: maybe I should have gotten a better lock. Maybe I should have put an airtag on it or something of that sort. Maybe I should have checked in on it more often instead of just the occasional instance where I want to get across campus fast. But MAYBE THE THIEF SHOULDN’T HAVE STOLEN MY BIKE!!!
Beyond my rage, there is deep sadness; so now, as promised, an ode to my stolen bike:
Oh, crappy blue bike, why did you have to leave me so soon?
We only got 2 years, and now you’re gone forever!
Oh, crappy blue bike, did you fly to the moon?
With my feet and your wheels, we worked so well together!
Oh crappy blue bike, who took you from me?
Was it someone who needed you more than I?
Oh crappy blue bike, I just hope you’re happy
I’m most definitely not, but yet, I say goodbye :'(