With the semester halfway over, a lot of Vandy freshman have expressed worry over the lack of cheap, convenient options for storing their microwaves, fridges, TVs, and other unwieldy appliances over summer break. What they don’t realize is that there’s an abundance of easy solutions out there to choose from, and some of them even have a 50% chance of keeping your stuff safe until next fall. And your risk of getting arrested is even lower! Without further ado, here are the top five ways Vandy students can take care of their microwaves, fridges, and other appliances over break.
1. Rent a unit at a storage facility
This is the go-to, it seems. Sure, if you choose the wrong facility it might cost you an arm and a leg. Sure, the storage unit next to yours may well contain an arm and a leg. As long as you never open it, you’ll never have to know, so what’s the big deal? Unless the guy renting the storage unit next to yours happens to be checking on his arm and leg collection when you go to drop off your mini fridge. We recommend accessing your storage unit during daylight hours.
2. Drive it home with you
No trunk space? Too many suitcases on the seats? No problem! Keep the fridge on your lap for the whole drive, all five to forty-five hours on average. For entertainment and blackmail purposes, you can even keep track of the number of times your parents refuse to stop at the next 7-Eleven so you can restore blood flow to your metatarsals. As for the people who are driving home by themselves, well, if that lady in the next lane can drive while slugging a 16-oz americano and putting on eyeliner in her rear view mirror, then you can definitely drive with a microwave and mini fridge in your lap. If you were a wiser freshman than I was and didn’t pack enough clothing to overflow a medium-sized sedan, you can stack your appliances in the passenger seat with a beanie and a mask and use them to sneak into the carpool lane.
3. Fly with it
In this case either your fridge and microwave will need to be packed, or you can buy them a ticket and treat them as a fellow passenger, perhaps utilizing the carpool lane disguise again. If you choose to pack them, since they’re electronics you’ll have to take them out of your luggage to go through the x-rays, which may raise a few eyebrows with the TSA. As such, however you choose to fly with your mini fridge, we recommend adding a few extra hours to your estimated travel time in case of delays.
4. Make gullible friends in the Nashville area
Heyyy, Jerry! It’s so great to see you again! How’s the kids? Say, didn’t I hear you mention the other day that you could really use a mini fridge for the boat? Take a nice cold beer out on the lake for when the fish aren’t biting? No? Really? I could’ve sworn you were–well, shoot, now I don’t know what to do, because I rented this spiffy little mini fridge just for you. The whole summer, yeah. Gosh, I don’t know what I was thinking! Well, I guess I’ll just have to find somewhere to put it. I can’t just take it back, but you know I have to fly home tomorrow and I’m–you’ll take it? Really? Aww, gosh, Jerry, what would I do without you?
5. Hide it in the bushes behind Towers
Tape a few branches to your microwave, maybe creatively utilize a tarp, and we guarantee you, no one will find it until either the fall semester starts or, possibly, they get around to demolishing Towers. Correct us if we’re wrong, Towers kids, but it seems statistically unlikely anyone will be willingly hanging out there over summer break. If Towers isn’t up your alley, there are definitely parts of Stevenson that haven’t been witnessed by mortal eyes in over a decade. You could easily stash your flatscreen there. (For more information on the Thing Beneath Stevenson see MCL’s Top 5 Vanderbilt Conspiracy Theories.) And if you’re extra paranoid, all you need to do is schedule in a few free hours before your departure, roll up your sleeves, and grab a shovel. And maybe do some extra research on where those gravesites are on campus. Just in case.
(Please, Cornelius, I would totally pay to be able to store my appliances on campus. I’ll sign whatever waivers you need me to, I know how you feel about commitment! You’ve got to make back the revenue from the free washing machines somehow, Cornelius. I understand it’d be a logistical nightmare and you’d probably lose more money than you made, but isn’t there even one basement with a deadbolt you could toss just my fridge in? Do it for me?)