Archives for November 2019

To some, the feeling is familiar. You’re at a thing, it can be a party, a classroom, or even just with a group of friends. Somehow, it seems like everyone is loud and excited, vying to be in the middle of whatever it is that’s happening but for you, you’re content just hanging outside of it all.  

One trait a lot of introverts share is being an observer. Rather than being in the middle of a group, you may find them on the outside, watching life go on instead of being the center of attention. Personally, I don’t think being a wallflower gets enough credit. A lot of attention goes to the person who’s at the center of it all (cough extroverts) and a lot of times they’re who ends up being remembered. And it’s understandable y’know. Why would anyone notice the person on the edge of everything? 

I used to think How do people have the energy to be “on” like that all the time? How do people not get tired?  Remaining and maintaining the attention of people always took more energy than it was worth for me. So instead, I’ve figured out how to lean into being on the outside of things. Being there, you’re able to see, hear, and pick up on things that those in the center can’t and honestly that can be more fun. And you don’t get drained in the process.

So next time you’re out, and a part of you feel like you should be talking just as loud or expending just as much energy as the people going crazy in the middle, maybe listen to the other part of you that just wants to relax and watch everything that goes down instead knowing that there are perks to being a wallflower.  

Supriya Vani had a calm demeanor as she sat at the head of the table and smiled at us. We smiled back nervously as she had not spoken much when she entered the Dean of the Commons’ Residence, only offering words of gratitude for her nomination as the speaker for the annual Crawford House Speaker Lecture. Then, after the dean asked her a question, she lit up and began to speak as though she had a wonderful secret she had to share.

On Wednesday, October 30th I had the opportunity, along with a few of my fellow freshmen and other Vanderbilt faculty members, to have dinner with Ms. Vani.

She is an inspiring woman who has traveled the world interviewing Nobel Laureates, with a special interest in speaking with the women winners. She has focused her time on learning about the barriers these women have broken in order to effect meaningful change in this unjust world. She has documented these amazing conversations in her acclaimed book: “Battling Injustice: 16 Women Nobel Peace Laureates.”

Vani’s allure extends beyond her work. Her enchanting character is touching as well. That night, as she spoke, her strength, passion and authenticity left us all in awe.

She displayed her strength as she spoke about the troubles she faced when trying to speak with the female Nobel Laureates — often sneaking in and out of countries, hiding from security, and traveling with little money. Additionally, Vani described the toll and difficulty of listening to the stories of these women who had witnessed or experienced rape, abuse, seclusion, torture, and death of loved ones.

Her passion shined when she told us that it was never her intention to write a book for the money or fame: she simply began her work out of curiosity to learn more.

Lastly, her genuine care for equality and peace were evident through her actions. She spoke about how she and her family rejected her high caste (1) last name in order to promote equality — she truly lives by the words she preaches.

Vani’s passion touched all the individuals who dined with her that evening. Her main takeaways: “girls can do anything” and “everyone should be treated fairly” are not new, but she definitely offered very compelling stories on their importance. I, along with the rest of the attendees I’m sure, are excited to read her book.

1: The caste system in India defines how individuals are treated in society. One is born into a caste, which can not be changed. Being part of “high caste” means individuals receive extra privileges and are treated especially well.