If you suffer from N.S.D.S. (No Sense of Direction Syndrome) like me, then navigating the Commons has likely been a struggle.
The Commons’ distinctive (not really) red brick and cream framing quickly crash into one cacophony of warm-toned carpentry. It’s easy to find yourself wandering in circles, searching for a bright color other than the green grass beneath you and the blue sky above.1
To help incoming freshman (like me) get a better grasp of their new home, I’ve designated distinctive structures to use as landmarks when navigating the Commons grounds.
And I’ve thrown in a couple of one-liners so horrible that hopefully they’ll stick in your head and you’ll remember where you are!
Landmark #1: the Martha River Ingrams statue – Lower Quad
(left) Not only is Martha R. Ingrams a cornerstone of the Nashville performing arts community, her likeness will also serve as a helpful reminder of where you are in the Commons.
Martha R. Ingrams is the ultimate compass for the Lower Quad—home of Hank Ingram, Stambaugh, and Memorial Houses. The statue depicts Ingrams sitting down with her back to the Commons Center, where the Commons Dining Hall, Munchie Mart, gym, and event center reside. Another thing to remember, Lower Quad is the Quad closest to the Commons Center!
Behind Martha, find a plethora!
Low=Co(mmons)
Stambaugh House – straight ahead of Mrs. Martha
(above) A front view of Stambaugh. These damn package tents.
Madam Ingrams smiles directly at our first featured freshman dorm, Stambaugh House!
Stambaugh has a nice front patio, with a cool balcony overlooking the Lower Quad. With a straight-on shot of the Commons Center, being a member of the “Stamily” means you’ll always been in the loop. At the very least you’ll have a front row seat to the flocks of freshmen hunting for food.
Ingrams smiles straight at Stambaugh.
Hank Ingram House – to the left of Mrs. Martha
(above) A Martha R. Ingrams view of Hank Ingram House.
If stone-faced Madam Ingrams’ gaze wandered to the left, she’d set sights on the hulking Hank Ingram House. Lovingly referred to as the Hank Hotel, Hank is the biggest freshman dorm on the Commons, boasting nearly 300 freshmen within.
But Hank isn’t inherently the best dorm just because its big, no matter how many Hank Ingram citizens claim it to be. (Although they do have a ping pong table in the basement…) One of my fellow MCL Media Intensive members gave me a room tour of his corner dorm in Hank, and it was the smallest I’ve seen so far.
So is all the hype around Hank merely propaganda? Although I’ve only seen inside three out of the ten freshmen dorms, and I’m certainly no judge, I can tell you, yes. The Hank hype is propaganda. Lies. All a facade.2
Look to the left of Martha, and you’ll high five Hank!
Memorial House – to the right of Mrs. Martha
Last (but maybe least) in the Lower Quad, to the right side of our lady Martha R. Ingrams, lies Memorial House. Memorial is the smallest freshman dorm on campus, with only 80 students nestled inside. I think it’s a little mean, almost seemingly intentional, to set the smallest dorm right next to the biggest one on campus, but Memorial citizens are quite loyal despite.
More fun features of Memorial: I noticed that there’s a little railing on top of the front of the building that the other dorms don’t have, or at least none that I have seen. Also, Memorial has their house crest above one of their side entrances. Pretty neat.
(from left to right) The aforementioned Memorial roof railing and Memorial House crest.
Memorial meanders to the right of Martha!
Landmark #2: Wyatt Center – “N.E.W.” & Gillette Houses
(above) Wyatt Center in all of its Education and Development glory!
This picturesque half dome (although temporarily shrouded by a package pickup tent) is home to the Peabody College of Education and Human Development. Wyatt Center is very pretty to look at, and hopefully all that looking will help you see Wyatt as a landmark for navigating the N.E.W. (North, East, West) and Gillette Houses!
Wyatt has a NEW Shave!
Get it? Shave? Gillette?
North House – straight ahead and a little to the left of Wyatt Center
(above) A head-on shot of North House.
Living in North means that you have the longest trek to the Commons Center. Or, alternatively, the closest walk to Main Campus. Living in North also means you might have a private bathroom, or a single all to yourself. Very exclusive company in here.
Life at North is all a matter of perspective. Though from my perspective, North is different than its peers in that its location relative to Wyatt Center is not accurately explained by its name. Technically North is located northwest of Wyatt Center, so maybe… Northwest House?
East House – to the right of Wyatt Center
East and West House are the closest friends of Wyatt Center. You’ll always find them holding hands. Clingy much? You can find East House clutching the right hand of Wyatt 24/7, all-year round.
(left) The East House bug!
East House also has this cool, semi-unsettling, turtle-man-bug sculpture on its front lawn. Dear East residents, does this thing have a name? If not, you should give it one. Quasimodo, perhaps? Or simply, the Creature?
West House – to the left of Wyatt Center
(above) West House and its connecting walkway to Wyatt Center.
West House is similarly attached at the hip to Wyatt Center. You’ll find West House grasping Wyatt’s left hand at all times. It’s a trauma bond thing, I think.
Gillette House – straight ahead and a little to the right of Wyatt Center
(above) Gillette from its side. Look at those stairs! And the rooms underneath them!
Gillette gets a little bit of a bad rap, but these claims are seemingly unfounded, other than the Great Flood of 2021.3 If you live in Gillette, they’ll never let you forget.
Gillette House can be easily distinguished by the runway of stairs leading into the main entrance. Although, it seems a bit hard to “G’Live, G’Laugh, G’Love” in a House that makes you take the stairs every day just to get in. Imagine making the trek from Main Campus, looking forward to diving into bed, and then Boom. Stairs. To each their own!
Landmark #3: …Upper? Quad? (sorry)
(left to right) Sutherland and Crawford. Do you see how I’m confused?
This is where I have bad news. I myself am an Upper Quad resident and I failed to find a distinctive enough figure to direct freshmen around, other than the big, fat package tent that will be taken away soon.
Crawford and Murray face each other and are aesthetically similar, bar some minor window features.4 Stambaugh5 and Sutherland, the same dilemma. Materially indistinguishable; an unending loop of brick and cement. But remember, it’s what’s on the inside that counts. And on the inside, Upper Quad freshmen are superlative in every sense.
So to my fellow Upper Quad freshmen in Crawford (WOOOOOO), Sutherland, and Murray, I extend my deepest apologies. Just know, we are the best Quad. Perhaps even the best House (if you live in Crawford), and we are certainly the coolest, most nonchalant and demure, freshmen in the Vanderbilt Class of 2028.
Find utmost comfort in knowing that we are the closest Houses to Parking Lot 84, and even, Parking Lot 90.
- Can we paint each of the houses in a different color? Or give them a fun little flag? Are we allergic to colors other than gold and varying shades of monotone at Vandy? ↩︎
- Crawford is better. Duh. ↩︎
- Moral of the story, don’t set fires in a microwave. ↩︎
- At this point, why even differentiate the buildings by an extra window frame or two. Lean into the monotony. Or paint each building a color of the rainbow. Either way. ↩︎
- Why are you not part of the Upper Quad? You want to be different soooo badly. ↩︎
