My Commons Life

News & features about the Vanderbilt Commons from the students who live here

TaMyra Johnson

MCL Top 5: Experiences That DID NOT Make My Freshman Year

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There’s a lot of freshman firsts that people say “Oh you have to go to this” or “You have to do this.” I really enjoyed some of these recommendations but I did not enjoy them all. Here are the Top 5 Freshman Experiences that DID NOT make my year

  1. Commons Ball

Starting off strong…Commons ball. I know a lot of people who enjoyed Commons Ball, however I did not. I feel like it’s really hit or miss. It was extremely hot, the food was better than dining hall food but not great, and we ended up leaving after 45 minutes to get ice cream. It was a little awkward that the dance floor was in our dining hall. I will say it’s a super cute idea though and getting ready for it with your friends can be fun!

  1. Founders Walk

Next we have Founders Walk…I don’t think this answer will be controversial at all. This was the walk at the very beginning of the year during orientation. I had no idea what was going on and neither did anyone around me. Again it was EXTREMELY hot and we were outside for what felt like days. We had to dress business casual after a long day of orientation. Overall I didn’t understand the point so 2/10 recommend 

  1. Orientation Week as a whole 

Orientation week had its good and bad moments, but overall I would not want to go through this again. I loved meeting all the new people but the 12 hour orientation schedule everyday was not what I thought I was signing up for lol. It’s honestly such a blur but I remember being super tired every night and wish I had more time to just sit down and adjust to college that way.

  1. The summer book speaking event?

I have no idea what the name of this event was, if I’m being honest. I really enjoyed the summer book and I think the author did an amazing job at the event. However… I don’t really remember much besides my Vuceptor telling us we had to go. It was another event on the never ending orientation schedule so maybe that caused my bias towards it. This event honestly wasn’t bad, it just didn’t make my freshman year!

  1. Commons Cup events

This one may just be because I did not participate in most of them but none of the events really intrigued me. When it first started, I attended a few to see what the hype was about but after that I never really heard much about it. I do know people who really liked participating at these events but it just wasn’t for me!

Those are my top 5 experiences that DID NOT make my freshman year. You may or may not have really enjoyed some of the experiences I talked about. You never know how much you’ll like something until you try it! 

“National TaMyra Day”

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This past week I celebrated my nineteenth birthday. Celebrating my first birthday away from home was a very scary and weird concept to me at first. My birthday celebration became an amazing week-long celebration thanks to my roommate, family, and friends. Here’s a recap of what my friends called, “National TaMyra day” or may I say week. 

The celebration started on Tuesday night at approximately 11:59 p.m. when my friends came into my room and told me I had to be blindfolded. As they led me down the hall, almost making me run into every wall, I was met with my floor singing happy birthday with cakes that my roommate made for me at exactly midnight. I was now nineteen years old celebrating with some of my favorite people. Later on that day, my dad drove in from Louisville, Kentucky to take my friends and I out for dinner. He also surprised me with a gift from my friend at home. She handmade a book bouquet for me since she wouldn’t be here to celebrate with me for the first time since middle school. We ended up going to the Black Tap down on Broadway (I highly recommend it) and it was delicious. After dinner, my roommate (she’s an opera singer if you don’t know) serenaded me with Happy Birthday in the middle of the street.

 

The next day, which I thought was the last day, my mom came into town to take my friends and I out to dinner as well. This time we went to The Southern Steak and Oyster which was also pretty good. The day before she had sent me flowers, by the end of my birthday my room was starting to feel like a flower shop, with a note. I was very fortunate to have my family be able to visit me on my birthday.

My friends and roommate kept hinting at a surprise but I figured since it was approaching two days after my birthday they just wanted to make me paranoid. On Friday, I went to an escape room with a couple of my friends and my birthday twin who also happens to live on my floor. We were pretty confident we could escape until we looked and saw the 9/10 difficulty. Spoiler alert… we did not escape. Overall it was fun and we finished the night off by getting ice cream at The Legendary Milkshake Bar. You’d be shocked to know that I don’t even really eat ice cream after finding out how much I had it this week.

Finally Saturday approached, this is now day four of my birthday celebration. I finally went out to eat with most of my friends for one last final birthday activity. Can you tell I like going out to eat? This time we went to Moxy Rooftop, it was mainly for the vibes rather than the food. 10/10 for the aesthetic and the food was pretty decent as well. Of course dinner turned into a photoshoot for all of us as the balcony had a beautiful view of Downtown Nashville. When we were finally about to uber back, I realized I was in fact not just paranoid and there was one more final surprise. My groups’ uber got there before my roommates. She instantly rushed over and asked to take my seat because she “needed to go” instantly. So we switched uber groups and I waited with my other friends who remained acting clueless as why she took my spot. Finally my new uber arrived and we were on our way back to my dorm. As soon as we got back my friends scrambled as soon as I turned my back. I decided to walk into my room and was met with the lights off and balloons all over the floor. I turned the lights on and all my friends popped out saying surprise with a cake and music playing.

Overall, celebrating my first birthday away from home was a success. I got to spend it with some of my favorite people who made sure I felt loved on my birthday. Growing up and being away from home can be scary but it’s a part of life. Embrace the new era you’re in. Whether you have a birthday or birth week, make sure to celebrate as you only turn this age once. National TaMyra day is now officially over until 2025 see you next year.

 

MCL Top Five: Reasons To Register To Vote

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Registering to vote is the best way to express your political opinions. After talking with Vandy Votes member Yotam Peer, here is some helpful information about registering and the top 5 reasons to register to vote. 

Helpful Information:

  1. What state do I register for?
    1. Registering from your home state is highly recommended. For college students it is recommended that you vote for the state your permanent housing resides in. This College Student Voter Registration guide may help you dictate where home is for you. 
  2. When is the deadline to register?
    1. The deadline to register fluctuates depending on your home state. If you need help finding your states’ registration date here is a helpful website. 
  3. How do I register?
    1. You can register in person or online. Check your state’s rules about registering, however here is a helpful link. 

With Yotam’s helpful information here are the top five reasons to register to vote:

  1. Registering to vote is the best way to express your political opinions. Voting allows you to actively influence the kinds of people and policies that end up in the government. 
  2. Even if you feel that voting is a waste of your time or you don’t like any of the candidates, registering to vote can still be helpful for many reasons.
    1. Policies that end up on the ballot could impact your everyday life 
    2. Registering to vote early makes everything easier later 
    3. If you change your mind about a candidate or policy later in the election process you may not be able to vote depending on the state you’re in. 
  3. Voting can be a quick and easy task if you plan for it
    1. Register on time 
    2. Know if you’re voting absentee or in-person. If absentee, mail your ballot on time and if you’re in person, research where your polling site is as well as when it will be the least busy. 
    3. Know what to expect at the ballot box (what positions are open, who’s running, and what laws are on the table). 
  4. Student Voters Matter! Voting allows you to stand up for your community and what you believe in. It also allows you to be an engaged citizen.
  5. It allows you to actively engage in our democracy.

Why The Fear Of Embarrassment Is Ruining Your Life

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The fear of embarrassment could be ruining your life and you may not even know it. I first want to clarify what fear of embarrassment is and is not. The fear of embarrassment is NOT just avoiding having an embarrassing moment (I don’t think anyone wants to be embarrassed). It also is NOT just being nervous that something may go wrong. In this context, the fear of embarrassment is when you avoid certain situations such as a love interest, a job, or a presentation just because you may be embarrassed. Everyone avoids embarrassment, but when you go out of your way to avoid embarrassment, it can become an even bigger problem for you. Embarrassment is a natural part of life and is not always bad. At the moment, it can feel like the end of the world, but I promise it’s not — it will probably be a funny story to tell your friends later on. 

The fear of embarrassment makes you miss out on opportunities because you are scared of being judged (I’m very guilty of this). I will say, the fear of other people’s opinions can leave you feeling paralyzed. I feel like it has become very normalized to believe that your worth is based on other people’s approval. However, it’s not — other people’s perceptions of you do not matter. Also, 99% of the time…no one actually cares. The fear of embarrassment makes you miss out on small things, but also can stop you from going after your dreams or being the real you. Embarrassment does not last forever, but avoiding it can be extremely destructive to your personal development. It may feel very intense in the moment, but understand that this is a short-lived feeling. 

Sometimes the fear of embarrassment can show up in little ways such as avoiding asking or answering questions in class because you are scared that you may be wrong.  Being scared of external judgment is one of the main things that stops us from reaching our full potential. This fear is irrational and could be due to the fragility of our egos. It is okay to be hesitant about trying something new, however do not let external judgment keep you in a box: wear that outfit, go out with that person, and apply for that job. Try everything you want to without the fear of being embarrassed. Making mistakes is normal and being embarrassed is okay. Be kind to yourself, and remember you are not alone. 

Of course, there are certain things that I hope you do avoid, like walking in on your roommate or stranger in the bathroom or calling your professor “mom.” But, if any of those happen, remember it is not the end of the world. Do not pass up on opportunities because of your fear of embarrassment; nothing is embarrassing until you feel embarrassed. The next time you stop yourself from trying something new, ask yourself: what exactly are you afraid of?

Becoming Okay with Not Doing Everything

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I know that “becoming okay with not doing everything” may sound like a weird concept at first, but I think it is a concept a lot of us tend to forget. Becoming okay with not doing everything translates to allowing yourself time to rejuvenate instead of overexerting yourself. A lot of the time we are constantly pouring into so many cups that by the time we get to ours, there is nothing left to give. We cling onto our past commitments while also making new ones without considering how trying to do everything can hurt our mental health. Sometimes I put my mental health on the back burner and all my other commitments in front of it. This has led me to learn that prioritizing my mental health is very important. I believe it is even more important to make sure that you are doing something for yourself everyday rather than just doing so when it’s “bad.” I realize that what works for me will not work for everyone, but I find that occasionally journaling, listening to podcasts, reading, and stretching helps me to be intentional about it. If you decide to journal, make sure you do it on the good days as well as the bad. This will help when you are feeling bad and you have an intrusive thought of “I do not remember the last time I felt happy” — now you have a reminder. Also, I have found that rereading the bad days is just as important, because this will help you see progress and show you how you can handle things differently. I also have found that as cliche as it may sound, affirmations and quotes have also inspired me to be more intentional about my mental health. One of my favorite quotes is by Alan Watts where he says, “Stop measuring days by degree of productivity and start experiencing them by degree of presence” 

You are allowed to let go of past commitments if they no longer align with what you want to do anymore. You are allowed to take time off to do things for yourself. You are allowed to not do everything. You cannot do your best without taking your mental health into consideration. Another one of my favorite quotes describes doing your best as “doing what you can without harming your mental and physical health” rather than “doing something with no regard for your own limits.” It is okay to have ups and downs in your mental health; it doesn’t erase your progress. I hate the term but it is also okay to be “lazy.” However, taking time to care for your physical and mental health is not negatively “lazy,” it is productive. Your perception of yourself affects your mental health. If you are struggling with mental health issues and need help finding resources, Vanderbilt offers many opportunities. Connecting with the Student Care Coordination here will get you in touch with therapists at Vanderbilt and off campus. Sofia El-Shamma has an in depth article discussing Getting Therapy at Vanderbilt if you would like more details. Just remember, asking for help does not make you weak. Therapy helps a lot and it is not embarrassing to ask for help. Ultimately, you can listen to all this advice but it is your job to apply it to your life. Nothing is permanent, you are not stuck, you have a choice, and you will get out of this.

Top 5: Quotes I Found From My Notes

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So I was going through my notes this weekend and I found a lot of random quotes and advice. I have no idea where it came from or why it’s there but here are my top 5 quotes I found with my interpretations. 

  1. Give yourself permission to experience something greater than you’re used to 

I interpret this quote as not allowing what left your life to affect your life. You can’t look for the bad in everything, you have to allow yourself to experience good things. Sometimes you just need to breathe and let life happen for you.

  1. There is no unlived life or alternative reality where everything went right…there is only here and now, what are you going to do with it?

You cannot sit and dwell on the what ifs of a situation. If you made a mistake or if something did not go as planned all you can do is change the way you handle it in the future. You cannot change the past or the present but you can change how you respond in the future. Learn from the past. 

  1. The biggest step you’ll ever take towards your future is the one away from your past 

This quote means that once you finally stop being controlled by your past and let it go you’ll be able to truly embrace the next phase of your life. If something is meant for you, it will find its way back to you but you cannot sit and wait around for it. You HAVE to live your life. Time does not stop. 

  1. You might have done the external work but your mind is starving for internal attention

If you are not taking care of your mind, you will always find something else wrong. Taking care of yourself mentally is so important. 

  1. The fear of staying the same must become greater than the fear of making change 

Change is really scary sometimes but so is staying the same. Change allows you to grow and maximize your potential. Staying the same does not.