As a recent boarding school graduate who arrived as a hysterical fifteen-year-old afraid to leave my own shell and graduated with tremendous skills and relationships that I was afraid to leave behind, I know a thing or two about the emotions that come with departing from home. Feeling lonely and unsure in a sea of new and unfamiliar faces is something that only time and experience can truly heal. However, by following some of these tips and realizing that you are never alone in feelings of homesickness or uneasiness, you will be set in the right direction.
First and foremost, do everything you can to make your space feel like home. Take the time to set up your dorm in a fashion that can be your safe haven amid everything unknown right now. That being said, this is not the time to stay between the walls of your comfort zone. In order to start your experience off on the right foot, you have to get comfortable with branching out, especially in these first weeks. So cherish those quiet moments in your dorm, but don’t confine yourself to that space.
Next, it is important to build a balance between keeping your friends and family at home informed without using them as a crutch. It’s great to call your parents to vent or share about your day, but don’t make it too habitual. Say yes to things on campus because sitting in your room on the phone with someone at home will only prolong this period of discomfort. You can go have dinner or explore campus with some new friends, and then call your friends or parents when you get back.
When you’re in the dorm, keep your room door open or listen for commotion out on your hall. All it takes is you walking out at the right moment, and you could form a new connection or make a new friend. I would also recommend exploring your building. You never know who will walk out of the elevator or wash their hands at the sink next to you.
Please keep in mind that it’s not weird to be alone when you are out and about. Be ok with eating, walking, or doing anything on campus by yourself. Once you get beyond that initial barrier of feeling vulnerable, you may even grow to enjoy it. Those moments alone keep you grounded in this heavily populated and high-energy environment. Take time for yourself by doing things that give you stability and keep you connected to the comfort that you left behind at home. You can decorate your room with pictures of you and your friends, go for a walk, or eat your favorite snack. For example, when I was initially adjusting to boarding school, I started a project to make my dorm feel more like my room at home by printing out images of my favorite album covers and using them to decorate a bare wall.
It’s so easy to get intimidated in times like these, so get involved and stay busy. The more time you spend engaging in activities with new people, the less time you will have to overthink. Obviously, with orientation and freshman activities controlling our first week on campus, it’s challenging to create a routine. However, once classes start and you have an opportunity to join organizations that spark your interest, it will be easier for you to build yourself a schedule and stick to it. Personally, I find solace in structuring my time, and I am looking forward to getting into a routine that will make me feel more comfortable in this new environment.
Finally, and most importantly, give yourself grace. It can seem like people around you have everything figured out, but no one really does. Everyone is excited to meet new friends and most likely feels just as overwhelmed as you do. Never count anyone out with one weird interaction, and just keep plugging along. Stay calm and patient, and remember that everything will work itself out if you give it some time.