Creative Commons, flickr
Breaking up is hard to do. There’s no denying that. But chin up, because there are valuable lessons to be learned and plenty of silver linings to embrace (in my case, way too many silver linings). Let’s dive into some breakup wisdom.
First and foremost, let’s address the elephant in the room: your ex, that poor misguided soul who made the grave error of letting you slip through their fingers. Take a moment to mourn the loss, sure, but then dust yourself off and remember one crucial fact: they missed out on you, not the other way around. Your charisma, your charm, your unparalleled ability to recite the entire pathophysiology of hypertension and debate Kantian philosophy for hours – they’re the ones who’ll be kicking themselves at the end of the day. You? You’re a rare gem, my friend. And if they couldn’t see that, well, that’s their loss.
Red Flags
Now, onto the more important, introspective part of this article. Instead of pointing fingers at the universe for conspiring against your love story, it’s time to turn the spotlight inward. Yes, you heard me right – introspection can be the best course of action for getting over a breakup. It’s all about recognizing those pesky red flags that were waving proudly in your face, screaming, “Hey, pay attention!” so that you avoid them next time.
So, let’s play a little game of “Shoulda, Woulda, Coulda” with some prime examples of red flags you might’ve missed:
- The Ghost of Commitment: If your ex told you an hour-long story about his ex-girlfriend and how much he missed her and was used by her, consider him a man with commitment issues. That’s a red flag.
- The Narcoleptic Napper: If your ex had a tendency to drift off into dreamland while you were narrating your important life’s adventures, it might be time to wake up to the fact that their dozing off faster than a hibernating bear is problematic.
- The Gaslighter Extraordinaire: Did your ex possess a talent for making you doubt your own sanity faster than you could say, “Wait, am I the crazy one here? Did I not set this boundary very clearly?” If so, that’s a red flag waving so vigorously, it could cause a hurricane.
- The Emotional Rollercoaster: Was your ex the type to be mean or have a short fuse when they were tired? Well, wake up, because college students are always tired. You don’t deserve to live life with a constant Grinch. If their true nature was exposed during times of stress or low sleep, you better believe what you see.
- The MIA Communicator: Communication is key, or so they say. But if your ex preferred to communicate via carrier pigeon rather than a straightforward text, well, you might want to consider investing in some signal flares for the next time.
- The Liar: Did you meet someone your ex was supposedly with two years ago, only to find out they were together mere weeks before you began dating them? Make friends with them and find out more about your ex’s bad habits. Bond over shared trauma!
Listen to Your Loved Ones
If your ex told you that you tell your family too much, that’s problematic. Most of your best, non-delusional advice will come from your loved ones who are interested in keeping YOU safe and happy. I had to put some extraordinary quotes on here from my dad and my best friends. They’re too good.
- “You got out of a major accident. You would have been number 20.” -P.
- “Have the mental capacity to not reply.” -P.
- “Now that we are putting this all together I’m getting nervous” -C.
- “If a dog barks, don’t bark back.” -P.
- “Sucks for him!” -S.
- “Yet another reason why men don’t deserve rights.” -S.
So, there you have it – a crash course in breakup enlightenment. Remember, the end of a relationship is not the end of the world. In fact, it’s just the beginning of a beautiful journey of self-discovery and growth. After all, the best revenge is living well – and maybe penning a subtly sarcastic article for MCL. Cheers to moving on and upward!
Until next time… peace!