One of Vanderbilt’s main campus landmarks is the recently constructed Zeppos Tower.
Photo credit: Micah Mayborn
Located on the corner of West End Avenue and 25th Avenue South, this 20-story brick monolith has stirred my imagination. What could possibly be inside this Tower of Sauron (Barad-dûr ) looking wannabe? A quick google search will yield the answer that it houses some fancy suites and nice meeting rooms, but who among us has actually been inside, and especially to the top?
I was able to talk to some of MCL’s readers and collect some thoughts. I heard quite the range of amazing theories, such as: the ever-elusive McRib, the poster from Now Is Not the Time to Panic, the Holy Grail – the list goes on. But there were some theories that stood out. Some simply made more sense and tower-ed above others. Here are the Top 5 theories of what’s in Zeppos Tower.
5. The Recipe for Rand Cookies
Starting off our list is the legendary Rand cookie. This is one of if not the most delicious post-meal entities that can possibly be consumed (given that it’s fresh out of the oven, cough cough). Reminiscent of the Krabby Patty Formula, I feel like a giant brick tower would be a great place to hide this precious secret from the world. I’d personally love to know how to make them solely so I can flex a newly acquired skill on friends and family back home.
4. An 8 Bedroom Suite
Realistically speaking, if you wanted to impress a notable visiting guest you’d probably put them up in Hank. But a luxurious castle of a room would probably suffice too. Enough said.
3. Cornelius Vanderbilt’s Cryogenically Frozen Head
WHERE ELSE WOULD YOU PUT IT? Think about it, people. This old rich guy probably went (some of) the way of Captain America and Han Solo and wanted to chill out for a little. Give it another 150 years and the founder will be calling the shots once again from his brick-laden fortress. Walt Disney wishes he had this guy’s immortality resources.
2. The Ark of the Covenant
This legendary artifact probably belongs in a museum. However, the second best option would definitely be (at the very least) at the tippy-top of a tower in the middle of Nashville. How it would have made its way to the Music City would certainly be an epic tale worthy of a movie.
1. A Portal to the Honor Council of Earth-2095
Rounding out the Top 5 is this theory that oddly makes just enough sense to possibly be true. Where else would something like this be kept? Only at the very top of the winding staircase that I imagine exists somewhere in the depths of the building that looms over the bookstore and that one Chili’s. I’ve heard that this particular multiversal honor council also holds the recipe for Rand cookies.
In case you couldn’t tell, this article was a top 5 plea to let me explore inside Zeppos Tower. If anybody knows how to make that happen, please let me know – I’ll be sure to document my findings.