In my last post, Life Happens, I tried to emphasize that recently there have been some big changes in my life and I’ve been incredibly happy!
This is amazing, and I am so grateful to have made such wonderful friends who contribute to my happiness and support me in cultivating a healthy and positive life. But, something I noticed this week is that I also need to remember it is more than okay to have “bad days.”
On Sunday I was feeling really lousy. I’m not exactly sure why — probably either because it was rainy, or because I was exhausted from a 4-show weekend, or I was thinking about Freshman year ending in two weeks, or because I realized I had 100 pages of reading to do. In reality, it was probably a combination of all of these things, but nevertheless, all I wanted to do was be alone and be kinda sad in my bed while watching Brooklyn 99.
But, as I got under three fluffy blankets, I somehow felt like it was a little “wrong” for me to be feeling like I was having a “bad” day. After all, recently I’ve been so happy! So energetic! It’s finally Spring, and things have been great!
I guess in chaos of the past few weeks, and upon the realization that I’ve been incredibly happy, I somehow developed this misperception that being happy meant I couldn’t occasionally have an “off” day, or else I would be “regressing” on this happiness. As I laid in bed watching Hulu, I honestly just made myself feel worse by thinking about my night alone as a step backward.
Yesterday someone told me to emphasize the importance of taking “the next right step,” and this is when I realized what a poorly constructed view I was placing on my “bad day.” Taking the “next right step” means that you are first letting go of the need to overanalyze the broader view of the path you are pursuing. Rather than stressing over an end-goal, you are seizing the course of action that makes the most sense in the immediate future. As I’ve said before, I am a planner. So I’m sure that forcing myself to focus on the immediate will be difficult sometimes, but the idea of the “night right step” sounds like something I can handle.
Taking the “next right step” may mean that sometimes I will need to force myself not to sit in bed on a “bad day” but go for a run instead. Taking “the next right step” may mean that I edit my resume, or apply for another internship, or finish my paper early to get feedback. Or, taking the “next right step” may mean acknowledging the needs of my body and mind — treating myself to the cup of ice cream, a FaceTime call with a friend, or the night in bed with Brooklyn 99.
I’m not sure what taking the next right step will look like for myself or for any of you in the future … but I think that’s the point … and honestly, that’s pretty exciting.
Tonight, for me, taking my next right step is me writing this post. This is my next right step in allowing myself to let go of the meticulous planning and agonizing I’ve been so accustomed to.
What’s your next right step?
Anchor down,
Brooke