Alright, so the race for the presidency has been going on for a while, and whether you love one and hate the other, or hate both them, both Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump and Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton have their names constantly plastered all over the news, and it seems, for all intents and purposes, that one or the other will one day soon be hunkering down in the Oval Office. On a lesser-known level are Gary Johnson of the Libertarian Party and Jill Stein of the Green Party, both of whom do not have much of a chance of becoming president. Let’s dig deeper, though, because the list of presidential candidates is longer still. Be prepared, for we are about to go totally underground politically and get a glimpse of the political fringe in 2016!
1. Rocky de la Fuente: Reform Party USA
Let us start this journey with the least far-out candidate, and party, of our quintet. Reform Party USA is the one political party here with a big success: Jesse Ventura’s election as Minnesota Governor in 1998. This populist and centrist-flavored party, with a strong dash of fiscal conservatism thrown in for good measure, has been mainly eluded by success, with the likes of Ross Perot, Pat Buchanan, and Ralph Nader all running for president, and all of them failing. In 2016, Rocky de la Fuente, a Mexican-American businessman, is going up to bat for the party, but it’s all too likely that he will become a presidential strikeout like others before him.
2. Dan Vacek: Legal Marijuana Now Party
The name of this party is VERY self-explanatory. Although Dan Vacek has something of a one-plank platform to stand on, this obscure party, which is a sort of cousin of the Green Party, just with a greater love of weed, at least has a semi-popular cause as its one plank. Dan Vacek also makes, or at least valiantly tries to make, connections between the legal status of marijuana and civil unrest, and gives some convincing arguments as to the benefits of stopping the War on Drugs. The question is, and one that, depending on your point of view, probably has an obvious answer: Can this single issue send Dan Vacek to the White House?
3. James Hedges: Prohibition Party
So, you may have been under the reasonable impression that Prohibition officially died in 1933, but it is true that certain things really do die hard. Although the Prohibition virtually ceased to play anything close to an important role in politics after WWII, it has stubbornly clung to existence and an ideology of temperance and social conservatism, fielding a presidential candidate at election time since 1872, thus making it the third most long-lived party, behind the Republicans and Democrats. As for James Hedges in particular, he has under his belt the remarkable accomplishment of being the only Prohibition Party candidate, so far, to be elected to public office (as a Tax Assessor) in the 21st Century. No matter if you believe alcohol is a great evil or a harmless diversion, you’ve got to give this party credit for continuing to survive despite the odds, and for continuing on that ever-difficult White House hunt.
4. Frank Atwood: Approval Voting Party
Now this is party that exists not so much for political achievement, as to make a point. I want to give this particular party a bit more space than the others, not because it is necessarily my favorite, but because it actually has an interesting idea. The point of this very much single-issue party is that age-old deliberation: should I vote for the lesser of the two evils, or should I vote for that one candidate whose platform and ideologies I love, but who a snowball’s chance in Hades of winning anything? The pragmatic answer is that it is better to hop aboard the bandwagon for a semi-evil that can actually win, rather than voting with the heart for a candidate that can go nowhere, and which might in turn cause the semi-evil to lose to the complete-evil.
Still though, there are rather strong feelings of regret present after doing one’s pragmatic duty. The Approval Voting Party plans to cure this by being a living example of the “wasted votes,” and thus try to create a push for the ability to vote for more than one candidate, known as approval voting. Hey! Now you can vote with both your head and your heart! No need to gamble, just vote for whomever you want to, or think you need to! And, as for that candidate that you absolutely despise, the Approval Voting Party points out that under approval voting, you would be able to vote for everyone EXCEPT that one odious candidate, meaning that you can do your absolute best, one way or the other, of denying the hate one their dreams of glorious elected officialdom!
5. Rod Silva: Nutrition Party
The Nutrition Party boils down the plethora of America’s complex problem to one point: America does not eat healthily! While Rod Silva’s commitment to better nutrition is commendable, single-issue parties are fringe enough, but to base one’s campaign on an issue that is to most people at this point a relatively minor one seems a bit strange and silly to say the least. Silva, who founded Muscle Maker Grill and turned it into a franchise, has a philosophy concerning all those other issues that he does not really address: “Focusing on issues like the economy, foreign affairs and tax reform are important, but if we don’t live long enough to enjoy the benefits of living in the free world, then what is the point?” An interesting guy with an interesting party, to say the least.
Annnnd, that is it for our Top 5 political parties playing at being Don Quixote! Also, here are some parting words of advice: Vote for any one of them (you cannot yet mark down five or six names on the ballot, unless Frank Atwood has his way of course) or don’t vote at all, but remember, if you identify with the fringe, there just might be a party out there to answer your call! Questions, comments, complaints, calls for a varsity windmill-jousting team here at Vandy? Put ’em below!