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I SURVIVED – Gen Chem Massacre 2.0

February 22, 2022 by Devin Laye

It’s that time of year again! We’ve just gotten through our first round of mid-terms, and though it wasn’t easy, we SURVIVED.

Like lambs to the slaughter, the horde of Gen Chem students trekked despondently to the exam. Our execution date was Thursday, February 17th. Even flash floods, tornados, and rainstorms couldn’t delay our inevitable destruction.

We struggled through this whole process last semester as well, but our first-year class remains resilient through the good, the bad, and the ugly. Let’s see what they have to say about their second survival against all odds:

THE GOOD

“I’m feeling cautiously optimistic…”

“Tara Todd giving out gum was the highlight of my day.”

“Dr. Todd is my Vandy mom!”

“I don’t care what the Gen Chem exam says… I’m going to be a doctor one day. Period.”

THE BAD

“I’m glad I’m in orgo…”

“I choked on a jolly rancher when I turned it in.”

“When I was walking back from the Chem exam, I called my mom and she asked why I was running. I was only walking uphill…”

“I was literally PRAYING that the tornado would get our exam canceled.”

THE UGLY

“My rate of success in Gen Chem is exponentially decreasing…”

“I don’t have anything positive to say about the Chem department.”

“I felt it was an unnecessary waste of medical students’ time.”

“Vandy’s deliberate effort to stop people from achieving their dreams.”

“Gen Chem — for the heartless, for the weak, for the pauper… weeping, screaming, dying… A test to end it all.”

MORAL OF THE STORY:

“idk which storm was worse… the tornado or the Gen Chem massacre?”

Filed Under: Features, Humor, Satire

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