In honor of the rainy weekend, here are five great ways to make the most of the 2020 hurricane season!
1. Alternative slip-‘n-sliding on the Commons Lawn
The Vanderbilt administration would like you to believe that in order to slip-‘n-slide, you need equipment. A rubber slide, a hose, swimsuits. Don’t be fooled. All you truly need to slip-‘n-slide is water and confidence. That’s why alternative slip-‘n-sliding will be held on the Commons Lawn throughout the entire rainy season. Any sort of board to ride on is prohibited; if you’re not a coward, you’ll throw yourself headfirst down the nearest grassy hill in the rain, and you’ll enjoy it. (MyCommonsLife is not officially a sponsor of alternative slip-‘n-sliding, and is not responsible for any injuries that may occur. Any attempts to hold MyCommonsLife responsible will be regarded as defamation and will result in a counterclaim. We will take you for everything you have. Sue at your own risk.)
2. Adopt a frog
As we all know, frogs of any species make excellent pets, delicacies, and friends. They’re widely available, probably not endangered, probably not poisonous, and vaguely trendy. And luckily, we at Vanderbilt have our own local pond, practically next door in Centennial Park! Next time it rains, you should poke a few holes in, like, a tupperware or something and head straight down to the gloomy, twisting, and completely deserted paths of Centennial Park to catch yourself an amphibious friend. Your RA will probably be fine with it; we all know they did worse when they were freshmen. And your little froggy buddy will no doubt be very happy to live out his days in a takeout container on your desk, sandwiched aesthetically between your possibly dead cacti and that Nalgene you keep meaning to wash out. There are absolutely no downsides to this activity!
3. Reenact that one scene from The Notebook
Y’know, the one where they’re out in a field and it’s raining, and the two main characters are wearing their thinnest, loosest clothing to strategically display their six-figure paychecks? If you say you’ve never once in your life wanted to become Ryan Gosling, you’re lying. And it’s so easy! Unless you’re a stickler for authenticity (in which case good luck with the whole cheating-on-your-husband thing), all you really need to do to shake off those rainy-day blues is dig out a business-casual shirt or blouse and find someone who’s good at clinging and looking tragic. It shouldn’t be too hard, we all have that one friend.
4. Cavort across the grasses and declare yourself the Rain Queene
Who couldst she be, that Wilde Apparition, spinning madly amidst the Tempeste? It is the Rain Queene, alle yea peasants bow down! She bringeth down storme and terror, lightning flashing in her terrible Visage, and yet in her passinge is the greater dread, her pale bony Doubling, the lady Drought. All haile the Rain Queene, for her mercy and her horrors, the Thunder and the great creeping Thinges which settle amongste the dripping branches! All haile the mistresse of the Darkened Sun! Bow down! Bow down!
5. Actually do your homework
Yeah, Jason, I’m talking to you. Just get it done. Jeez.